Nowadays, many familiar have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while other think child care centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #members #grandparents #care #children #child #centres

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today's era, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

families have both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parents

working hard to meet family ends.

This

brings to question

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

the children should taken

care

Change preposition

of by

show examples

the

parents

or the

care givers

Correct your spelling

caregivers

show examples

. I will discuss both the views and present my opinion in the context. On one hand, there are

parents

who tend to believe that their children should left in the

kindergardens

Correct your spelling

kindergartens

kindergarten

for their

care

. The reason behind

this

thinking is

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because their offspring will get a chance to get

along with

their peers and make some relationships in the outer world.

Besides

this

will help their

kids

to enhance

the

Change the word

their

show examples

communication skills which builds their confidence. So,

that is

why,

parents

prefer child

cares

Correct subject-verb agreement

care

show examples

over

grandparents

On the other hand

, there are a lot of adults, who choose traditional upbringing for their children and

leaving

Wrong verb form

leave

show examples

their babies with

the

Change the word

their

show examples

grandparents

, taking into account,

grandparents

Correct word choice

that grandparents

show examples

are their own and no one would love them as their

grandparents

will.

For example

, when

kids

spend most of their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

with their

grandparents

, they will

closer

Add a missing verb

be closer

show examples

to their roots and family. The old ones keep the families united which will pass on to the

kids

Thus

, it is a good solution for dynasties. In conclusion, I would say choosing

grandparents

over

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

child

cares

Correct subject-verb agreement

care

show examples

for

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

upbringing is the best solution. Needless to say,

grandparents

will not only take

care

of the

kids

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but teach

the

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

life lessons that they can learn anywhere in the world.

Submitted by kiranbirkaur003 on Mon Sep 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully answers all parts of the question. In your essay, you should elaborate more on both sides of the argument with specific examples and details.

task achievement

Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Try to include more varied examples that are directly relevant to the points you make.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas between and within paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices, such as transition words, to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen your introduction and conclusion to clearly state the main argument of your essay and summarize your stance effectively.

support main points

When mentioning main points, ensure they are thoroughly supported with reasoning and examples.

structure

You have provided a clear structure to your essay by presenting both views and then sharing your personal opinion.

language expression

Your essay shows that you have a good command of the English language and you are able to express your ideas reasonably well.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
People in diverse countries say to minors that if are hardworking they will achieve whatever they want. Meanwhile, there are some benefits in this such as higher self-confidence and independence along with several drawbacks like lack of oversight on some occasions which can lead to a hazardous situation.
5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students nowadays are under a lot of pressure to achieve academical success in order to get into a good university or secure a well paid job. For this reason some people argue that schools need to focus on academic subjects and vocational subjects should therefore not taught at schools. I would argue that while academic skills are important, schools need to teach a wide range of both academic and more skills-based subjects.
4.5
band
Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?
Caring for children is crucial in society building, and parents should be capable of this responsibility. I totally agree with taking courses on how to be efficient in raising children.Children are the seeds of our community; they are our future. If parents fail to prepare them well, their teachings will negatively affect the community, as children are the driving force for the nation's change.Parents should be well-prepared before having children. They should take lessons and be role models for their kids. Proper caregiving will improve children's mental and behavioral development, preparing them to be good parents in the future.For instance, clever students in school often reflect the attention and care they receive from their parents. Additionally, parents should be financially capable of meeting their children's needs, such as education and nutrition.Furthermore, the bond between parents and children is significant in child care, facilitating better communication and understandi...
7
band
Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen: A nice and respectful style.
I hope this message finds you well. I’m writing to discuss the barking noise that was made by your small dog.
4.5
band
A magazine wants to include contribution from its readers for an article called 'the book that influenced me most". Write a letter to the editor of the magazine about the book that influences you most. In your letter, describe what this book was about, explain how this book influenced you, say whether this book would be likely to influence other people
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter very happy. Because, I read your book last week. That is very special to me. The following paragraph I will discuss about it.

Nowadays, many familiar have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while other think child care centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Word Count

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen: A nice and respectful style.