Nowadays, many familiar have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while other think child care centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #members #grandparents #care #children #child #centres

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In today's era, most

Change preposition

apply

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the

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apply

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families have both

the

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apply

show examples

parents

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working hard to meet family ends.

This

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brings to question

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whether

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the children should taken

care

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of by

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the

parents

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or the

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care givers

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caregivers

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. I will discuss both the views and present my opinion in the context. On one hand, there are

parents

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who tend to believe that their children should left in the

kindergardens

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kindergartens

kindergarten

for their

care

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. The reason behind

this

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thinking is

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apply

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because their offspring will get a chance to get

along with

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their peers and make some relationships in the outer world.

Besides

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this

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will help their

kids

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to enhance

the

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their

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communication skills which builds their confidence. So,

that is

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why,

parents

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prefer child

cares

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care

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over

grandparents

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On the other hand

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, there are a lot of adults, who choose traditional upbringing for their children and

leaving

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leave

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their babies with

the

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their

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grandparents

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, taking into account,

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grandparents

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that grandparents

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are their own and no one would love them as their

grandparents

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will.

For example

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, when

kids

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spend most of their

times

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time

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with their

grandparents

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, they will

closer

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be closer

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to their roots and family. The old ones keep the families united which will pass on to the

kids

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Thus

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, it is a good solution for dynasties. In conclusion, I would say choosing

grandparents

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over

the

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apply

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child

cares

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care

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for

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kids

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kids'

kid's

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upbringing is the best solution. Needless to say,

grandparents

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will not only take

care

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of the

kids

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apply

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but teach

the

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them

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life lessons that they can learn anywhere in the world.

Submitted by kiranbirkaur003 on Mon Sep 02 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully answers all parts of the question. In your essay, you should elaborate more on both sides of the argument with specific examples and details.

task achievement

Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Try to include more varied examples that are directly relevant to the points you make.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas between and within paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices, such as transition words, to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen your introduction and conclusion to clearly state the main argument of your essay and summarize your stance effectively.

support main points

When mentioning main points, ensure they are thoroughly supported with reasoning and examples.

structure

You have provided a clear structure to your essay by presenting both views and then sharing your personal opinion.

language expression

Your essay shows that you have a good command of the English language and you are able to express your ideas reasonably well.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

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