Nowadays, many familiar have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while other think child care centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today's era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
families have both Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
parents
working hard to meet family ends. This
brings to question if
the children should taken Correct word choice
whether
care
by
the Change preposition
of by
parents
or the care givers
. I will discuss both the views and present my opinion in the context.
On one hand, there are Correct your spelling
caregivers
parents
who tend to believe that their children should left in the kindergardens
for their Correct your spelling
kindergartens
kindergarten
care
. The reason behind this
thinking is,
because their offspring will get a chance to get Remove the comma
apply
along with
their peers and make some relationships in the outer world. Besides
, this
will help their kids
to enhance the
communication skills which builds their confidence. So, Change the word
their
that is
why, parents
prefer child cares
over Correct subject-verb agreement
care
grandparents
.
On the other hand
, there are a lot of adults, who choose traditional upbringing for their children and leaving
their babies with Wrong verb form
leave
the
Change the word
their
grandparents
, taking into account, grandparents
are their own and no one would love them as their Correct word choice
that grandparents
grandparents
will. For example
, when kids
spend most of their times
with their Fix the agreement mistake
time
grandparents
, they will closer
to their roots and family. The old ones keep the families united which will pass on to the Add a missing verb
be closer
kids
. Thus
, it is a good solution for dynasties.
In conclusion, I would say choosing grandparents
over the
child Correct article usage
apply
cares
for Correct subject-verb agreement
care
kids
upbringing is the best solution. Needless to say, Change noun form
kids'
kid's
grandparents
will not only take care
of the kids
,
but teach Remove the comma
apply
the
life lessons that they can learn anywhere in the world.Correct your spelling
them
Submitted by kiranbirkaur003 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully answers all parts of the question. In your essay, you should elaborate more on both sides of the argument with specific examples and details.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Try to include more varied examples that are directly relevant to the points you make.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between and within paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices, such as transition words, to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion to clearly state the main argument of your essay and summarize your stance effectively.
support main points
When mentioning main points, ensure they are thoroughly supported with reasoning and examples.
structure
You have provided a clear structure to your essay by presenting both views and then sharing your personal opinion.
language expression
Your essay shows that you have a good command of the English language and you are able to express your ideas reasonably well.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.