IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Question: Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Every person has different
consideration
Fix the agreement mistake
considerations
show examples
 with regard to
criteria
Correct article usage
the criteria
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 purchasing
food
Use synonyms
. As
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 diet is progressively accepted and even conducted by the majority of
people
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 start to
put
Verb problem
take
show examples
 other factors,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 traceability, quality and origin of
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
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 into account other than
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not always true that the
price
Use synonyms
 is only of interest to most
people
Use synonyms
 when they choose
food
Use synonyms
. Throughout different periods,
people
Use synonyms
 have different attitudes
for
Change preposition
toward
show examples
food
Use synonyms
. As for
people
Use synonyms
 who only think of
price
Use synonyms
, they might not have alternative choices because of their limited financial capacity. In the earlier time, poverty was widespread and it was normal
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 mass of
people
Use synonyms
consider
Fix the infinitive
to consider
show examples
Use synonyms
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 of merchandise in the first place.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 society became abundant, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 regarded healthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
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what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they
have eaten
Wrong verb form
ate
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, they cared about how their
food
Use synonyms
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 produced.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
’s
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 are affected by economic power. It is arguably most
people
Use synonyms
 who have poor means may only choose low-priced products in the same way as
people
Use synonyms
 do in less advanced regions.
Besides
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,
frame
Correct article usage
the frame
show examples
 of reference for eating healthily
also
Linking Words
 influences
people
Use synonyms
’s selection
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
food
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
although
Linking Words
 many consumers still
put
Verb problem
take
show examples
expense
Add an article
the expense
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 into consideration, they value quality, freshness and productive
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 methods at the same time.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 who pay attention to
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 will ponder if producers use any pesticide which harms ecology in the process of planting.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are inclined to buy
environment-freindly
Correct your spelling
environment-friendly
 products.
Additionally
Linking Words
, other consumers would possibly like to know how breeders raise livestock when they buy meat.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is highly likely for them to support breeders who adopt outdoor farming in place of battery farming. All in all, from my perspective,
people
Use synonyms
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about
food
Use synonyms
 for their quality, traceability and
also
Linking Words
 if avenues manufacturers apply are harmonious to the earth as long as
Use synonyms
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 is within
consumer’s
Correct article usage
the consumer’s
show examples
 affordability.

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task achievement
For Task Response, strive to provide more relevant and specific examples. For instance, you could mention specific studies or surveys that show consumer preferences. Including such data can add more weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and connectors to make the logical flow smoother. This will help the essay read more naturally.
task achievement
Try to avoid generalizations. Not all individuals who prioritize cost over quality do so because of limited financial capacity. There may be other factors such as cultural influence or personal preferences.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion effectively.
supported main points
The essay does a good job in discussing how people's economic power and environmental considerations affect their food choices.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the idea that factors other than cost are important when choosing food.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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