IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress level amongs professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or coollage lecurer.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress level amongs professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or coollage lecurer.
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The charts illustrate
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
hours
 worked by specific jobs and how much
this
 leads to
stress
 causing illness.
It is clear that
business
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
man
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 the most
while
 lecturers work the least but get
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
stress
 the most compared to other jobs.
Firstly
, there was not much difference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 working
hours
 between certain jobs.
Business
man
 worked 70
hours
 a week which was the peak. It was followed by movie producers who worked 60
hours
 a week having little difference compared to
business
man
. Next
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 doctors and writers working 50
hours
 and roughly 45
hours
 every week. Programmers and lawyers had similar figures rating 40
hours
 and approximately 35
hours
. The average number of
hours
 chefs worked was only 30
hours
 followed by lecturers who worked around 28
hours
.
However
,
stress
Correct article usage
the stress
show examples
 workers got was not related to working
hours
. Lecturers who worked the least got
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 level of
stress
 which was 25%. It was followed by movie producers
got
Correct pronoun usage
who got
show examples
 18% which is higher than
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
business
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
man
 who rated only 11%. Writers and lawyers had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 level of
stress
although
 their working
hours
 had 10
hours
 difference which was 8%. Programmers got the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 level of
stress
 having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 proportion of 5%.
Submitted by wjddbs2206 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, stress, business, man with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
▼
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