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Band 4.5

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #ground #floor #library #redeveloped #summarise #information #features #comparisons
these layouts illustrate some modifications that occurred on the ground floor of a
library
 in 2001 and 2009.
overall
, the right side of the
library
 has changed to six separate rooms,
while
 the right side has generally remained the same. the upper part of it has experienced a little change,
additionally
, the lower site still remains. the left side of the
library
 was divided into two parts, history and self-help, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was allocated these spaces for miscellaneous parts, including law, economics, kitchen, self-help,history, and fiction transferred from the upper.
besides
, Newspapers have been changed with films and DVDs, meanwhile, some computers were added . librarian desk and stairs have remained near the entrance . there was ample room in the north of the
library
 dedicated to tables replaced with fiction.
as well as
 table designs that have been formed from vertical to horizontal in the middle of the
library
. a little space has been allocated for the children's area below the tables.
Submitted by pooya.sheytoon2 on

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task achievement
While you have mentioned the primary changes in the library, you could improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Make sure to elaborate more on specific transformations and provide sufficient details.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion summarizing the key changes observed in the library. This will enhance the structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas and paragraphs. For example, words like 'moreover', 'in addition', 'however', 'on the other hand', etc., can provide better flow and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to minimize grammatical inaccuracies and pay attention to punctuation to improve the overall clarity of your essay. This will also help in conveying your points more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay provides a good attempt at comparing the two layouts and highlighting the main changes that occurred.
task achievement
You have adequately described some of the modifications that took place on both the right and left sides of the library, which is essential in a descriptive task like this.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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