IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices would help to reduce transport pollution greatly.

#government #investment #transport #systems #reductions #ticket #prices #pollution
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It is said that investing in systems of public
transport
Use synonyms
 by the government and
also
Linking Words
 reducing the
price
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 of public
transport
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 tickets, would have
apositive
Correct your spelling
a positive
positive
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
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 on
reduction
Correct article usage
the reduction
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 of
transport
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pollution
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. I strongly believe that both of these two ways would decrease
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pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
show examples
 of
transportation
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. when the ticket
price
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 was reduced, it encouraged people to use public
transportation
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such
Linking Words
 as
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
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 and bus rather than their own car which mostly has just one passenger, so the number of vehicles around the cities would decrease and
as a result
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, the
pollution
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 which is caused by
transportation
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 will reduce.
For example
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 in my country, the ticket
price
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 is 50% cheaper for students , so they prefer to use public
transportation
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instead
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 of their own car. Some people believe that it is just because they do not own a car
However
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, the main reason is the lower
price
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 they should pay.
furthermore
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, the government can develop the system of public
transportation
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 by changing the old vehicles with new ones, so they would produce less
pollution
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 than the older ones or they can set
Correct article usage
an
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optimised schedule,
for instance
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, they can hire more buses for the crowded time of the city and reduce them in other times. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport
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pollution
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 can be reduced
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both of these ways, investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
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transport
Use synonyms
 system by changing the vehicles and
develope
Correct your spelling
developing
 the schedule and
also
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tickets cheaper than
usuall
Correct your spelling
usual
usually
.
Submitted by ghazal.seyedi95 on

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Ensure that your essay is free of grammatical errors and typos. For example, 'aplan', 'asuall' should be corrected to 'a plan' and 'usual' respectively.','Grammar
Your introduction is clear, but try refining it so it closely reflects the prompt: 'Investing in public transport systems by the government and reducing public transport ticket prices can reduce transport pollution significantly.'
Your first body paragraph was useful, but consider expanding on the example given by including a realistic study or evidence besides personal experience.
The spelling in 'develope' must be corrected. Also, try expanding the government’s role in public transport development; perhaps cite specific technologies or eco-friendly practices they might adopt.
You've structured your paragraphs well and provided a clear introduction and conclusion.
Your examples are practical and relatable, particularly the student ticket price example.
You've done well in addressing both aspects mentioned in the prompt: government investment in public transport and reducing ticket prices.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
What to do next:
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