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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 era of technology, the
migration
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 has become one of the key problems of any progressive economy.
Due to
Linking Words
 lack of opportunities in the workforce, lack of medical availability in the
country
Use synonyms
 and the security for the family,
people
Use synonyms
 are moving from one
country
Use synonyms
 to another.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 move from one
country
Use synonyms
 to another in the
expectaion
Correct your spelling
expectation
 of
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 lifestyle and earnings.
Year
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
after
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
Use synonyms
migrants issue
Fix the agreement mistake
migrant issues
show examples
 happening all over the world
such
Linking Words
 as
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, UK, New Zealand and Australia. These countries have
also
Linking Words
 imposed
migrants
Use synonyms
 rule
for stopping
Change preposition
to stop
show examples
 unwanted migrations into the
country
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 these statistics strictly
explains
Correct subject-verb agreement
explain
show examples
 the migrant
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in the countries in 2006. In the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 the most
migration
Use synonyms
 happened in the United States with a record high rate of 577,000 and the rate of the migrant
workers
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 at the lowest
i.e
Correct your spelling
i.e.
 2.3 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
United
Correct article usage
The United
show examples
 Kingdom had the second highest
workers
Use synonyms
migration
Use synonyms
 with a record number of 266,000 with a ratio of 4.4
workers
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
Add a comma
Nonetheless,
show examples
 these figures for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 rose to 678,000 over these three years of
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
 period.
Besides
Linking Words
 a plethora of migrations
has
Wrong verb form
that have
show examples
 been happening in these countries, their economy keeps on growing
year
Use synonyms
 on
year
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 these
figures
Add a comma
figures,
show examples
 the lowest
migration
Use synonyms
 happened in New Zealand in 2003
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with a record high working
migrants
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 the second highest working
migrants
Use synonyms
 ratio happened in
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 with 10.7 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2006.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words migration, workers, country, people, year, migrants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temporary migrant workers
  • trends
  • absolute numbers
  • per 1,000 people
  • growth rate
  • per capita
  • labor markets
  • economies
  • significant
  • imply
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