ILife has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such widespread in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some laboratory,
specialist
suggest that governments have been spending Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
to
Replace the word
too
much
resources to solve medical problems Change the quantifier
many
instead
of educational programs. In my opinion, government
should invest more money to prevent the community Add an article
the government
to get
sick rather Change preposition
from getting
to treat
the illness or Change preposition
than treating
a
disease. In Remove the article
apply
this
essay
I will argue about Add a comma
essay,
this
phenomenon and give some ideas to prevent the
society.
In the Correct article usage
apply
last
decades, humanity has been facing big
dengue disease or fever pandemic like Correct article usage
a big
COVID 19
. Add a hyphen
COVID-19
Furthermore
, governments around the world invest big money due
the vaccination program. Some might argue that COVID was made inChange preposition
in
Add an article
a
the
Correct word choice
and promote
promote
by the media and big pharmaceutic Change the form of the verb
promoted
business
. Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
However
, thousands of people died due this
virus. To prevent Change preposition
to this
this
kind of scenarios
Fix the agreement mistake
scenario
government
should invest more money to educated
their people and to prevent the spread of the virus. Change the form of the verb
educate
For instance
, an article from TIMES magazines
Fix the agreement mistake
magazine
declare
that in Latin Change the verb form
declares
America
countries like Brazil Replace the word
American
Bolsonaro
Change noun form
Bolsonaro's
government
did not take the
Correct article usage
apply
precaution
to avoid the spread. Fix the agreement mistake
precautions
As a result
, 250000 of
Change preposition
apply
Brazilian
died.
Replace the word
Brazilians
In
Change preposition
On
other
hand, it is really difficult for governments to protect the Correct article usage
the other
big
quantity of people around the world. I believe that it is important to Correct word choice
large
incentive
educational health programs at schools and universities. Correct your spelling
incentivise
On
Change preposition
In
this
way, new
generation would be alert in order to reduce the spreading and the high demand in hospitals.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that Add an article
a new
the new
government
should help Correct article usage
the government
the
treating of illness but Change preposition
in the
also
, they
should Correct word choice
but they
promote
health educational programs Rephrase
also promote
in
the Change preposition
for
young
generations and Correct word choice
younger
also
in adults.Submitted by marcodimonaco89 on
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task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your thesis or main argument to guide the reader. Currently, it's a bit vague and general.
coherence cohesion
Develop each paragraph around a single main idea. This will help improve the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Use more relevant and detailed examples to support your arguments. Specific evidence strengthens your points considerably.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay flows smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Transitional phrases can help in this regard.
task achievement
You effectively mention global issues like COVID-19 to illustrate your points, making your essay relatable and timely.
task achievement
You have a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and reiterates your main idea, which is good practice.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.