IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #climate #change #effect #business #opportunities
Climate
change
 has been a topic of debate in recent years.
Although
 it is sometimes thought that the
climate
change
 crisis impacts
businesses
 negatively, other
people
 believe that more business opportunities would be provided
due to
this
 issue. I consider that
climate
change
 has numerous detrimental effects on
businesses
such
 as shortage of workforce and lower yields. On the one hand, many
people
 think that the detrimental impacts of
climate
change
 on companies should not be ignored. At present, adverse weather conditions including floods ,hurricanes and snowstorms, which are results of
climate
change
, make the working environment so dangerous for workers.
This
 ,
consequently
, leads to a low rate of
people
 who are inclined to work in these circumstances.
As a result
, the
businesses
 would suffer from the shortage of workforce.
Moreover
, for
businesses
such
 as agriculture that heavily depend on weather and natural resources, their yields would be affected and they would have a poor harvest. Taking Iran as an example, because of the drying up of the Zayandehrood River, the majority of agriculture can not reap yields at the highest level.
On the other hand
, it is sometimes believed that
climate
change
 offers numerous opportunities for companies.
In other words
, since nowadays a lot of
people
's health has been affected significantly because of the
climate
 crisis, new environmentally friendly products should be produced by companies in terms of reducing the severity of
this
 issue, which creates many business opportunities.
For example
, global carmakers are transitioning to electric vehicles.
In addition
, many organisations can grab the opportunity to provide whatever is needed.
For instance
, since the weather temperature has been soaring day after day, products which can cool the air are in high demand and
thus
 a lot of factories are being constructed to produce them. In conclusion,
while
people
 may vary in their opinions, I think that the detrimental effects of
climate
change
such
 as the shortage of workers and poor harvest should be considered.
Submitted by parismasoumzadeh7495 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, demonstrating a well-structured response. The points are connected logically and clarify the writer's arguments. However, arguments could be supported with stronger or more specific examples, contributing to a richer narrative.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task, discussing both positive and negative impact, and giving your opinion. At times, the ideas seem slightly generalized statements rather than drilling down into specific details. While you use some specific examples, expanding this throughout and getting into the nuances of your argument would improve overall clarity and comprehension.

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