some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media

#people #lives #celebrities #media

In the 21st century, some people think that the

media

should not

details about

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

private and daily

lives

. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

opinion, and I will discuss it in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, when

celebrities

their private

lives

on social

media

or TV, they can face negative opinions from the public and attract bad news.

For example

, if a superstar works in a movie and has good chemistry with a cooperation star, fans might ship them as a couple. But if the celebrity has a

real

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

life

partner,

this

can affect their work, daily

life

, and family. The audience might put pressure on them with toxic information, and

this

could lead to social

media

attacks.

However

, by being open with the public,

celebrities

can

also

build a stronger image with their fans.

On the other hand

, some

celebrities

create social

media

pages or YouTube channels to

their daily

life

such

as preparing for a fashion show. They can

also

earn money from these activities and use it for charity work, like helping children's hospitals.

Additionally

, by sharing their

lives

celebrities

can attract viewers and people learn about their

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

, family

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

show examples

, and how their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

different from the audience In conclusion,

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

or not

celebrities

their daily or private

life

depends on the person. It is not always negative, and the audience should not focus too deeply on the private

lives

celebrities

Submitted by midden-02.tore on Tue Sep 03 2024

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task achievement

In your essay, there's a good attempt at presenting a balanced view. To improve further, consider providing more detailed examples and elaboration to strengthen your main points. For instance, you might discuss specific instances where sharing private lives had positive or negative impacts on celebrities.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are generally coherent and follow a logical progression. However, ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear, distinct main point would enhance clarity. Make sure your transitions between ideas are smooth and more pronounced to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing your main points more explicitly and firmly stating your stance. This will make your conclusion more impactful and cohesive with the rest of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for your essay.

task achievement

You provide a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates thoughtful task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Invasion of privacy
Media scrutiny
Public persona
Personal autonomy
Sensationalism
Paparazzi
Tabloid journalism
Right to privacy
Mental well-being
Public interest
Ethical journalism
Celebrity culture
Gossip columns

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some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media

Word Count

Some people say in order to prevent illness and diseases, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. Do you agree or disagree？

Despite the existence of legal institutions such as courts to resolve differences between people, some people still think that it is better to settle for cases out of courts. To what extent so you agree ?