some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media

#people #lives #celebrities #media

In the 21st century, some people think that the

media

should not

details about

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

private and daily

lives

. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

opinion, and I will discuss it in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, when

celebrities

their private

lives

on social

media

or TV, they can face negative opinions from the public and attract bad news.

For example

, if a superstar works in a movie and has good chemistry with a cooperation star, fans might ship them as a couple. But if the celebrity has a

real

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

life

partner,

this

can affect their work, daily

life

, and family. The audience might put pressure on them with toxic information, and

this

could lead to social

media

attacks.

However

, by being open with the public,

celebrities

can

also

build a stronger image with their fans.

On the other hand

, some

celebrities

create social

media

pages or YouTube channels to

their daily

life

such

as preparing for a fashion show. They can

also

earn money from these activities and use it for charity work, like helping children's hospitals.

Additionally

, by sharing their

lives

celebrities

can attract viewers and people learn about their

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

, family

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

show examples

, and how their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

different from the audience In conclusion,

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

or not

celebrities

their daily or private

life

depends on the person. It is not always negative, and the audience should not focus too deeply on the private

lives

celebrities

Submitted by midden-02.tore on Tue Sep 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

In your essay, there's a good attempt at presenting a balanced view. To improve further, consider providing more detailed examples and elaboration to strengthen your main points. For instance, you might discuss specific instances where sharing private lives had positive or negative impacts on celebrities.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are generally coherent and follow a logical progression. However, ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear, distinct main point would enhance clarity. Make sure your transitions between ideas are smooth and more pronounced to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing your main points more explicitly and firmly stating your stance. This will make your conclusion more impactful and cohesive with the rest of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for your essay.

task achievement

You provide a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates thoughtful task achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Invasion of privacy
Media scrutiny
Public persona
Personal autonomy
Sensationalism
Paparazzi
Tabloid journalism
Right to privacy
Mental well-being
Public interest
Ethical journalism
Celebrity culture
Gossip columns

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The inclusion of art in the school curriculum is a topic of considerable debate. Some argue that art is a vital part of a child's education, while others believe it is a waste of time and resources. This essay will examine both perspectives and present my opinion.
7.5
band
You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter: Describe the item you bought and why you need it. Explain why you are not happy with it. Say what you would like the manager to do.
I hope this letter finds you in radiant health and best of the spirits. I am writing this letter to address a pressing concern that has arisen regarding the television purchase that I made a week ago from your downtown branch. My purchase receipt number and membership number are XOI209011 and 788001 respectively.
5.5
band
Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think that it is a waste of valuable money.
People have different views about how funds should be spent on protecting endangered animals. Some people argue that it is a waste of money. In my opinion, l believe that keeping endangered animals is very important. Although we must spend money, it could become educational material for our children in the future and endangered animals are important to balance the ecosystem.
5.5
band
One of your friends in a foreign country is starting an import-export business, and he has asked you to recommend a product from your country to him. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: say what product you want to recommend to him tell him where he/she can get this product explain why you want to recommend this product
How are you? It's been a long time, I hope you are doing well. I heard you are starting a new business, and I am writing this letter to you to suggest a few items that you can add into your business portfolio of import-export.
4.5
band
Some people think all young people should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many residents have an opinion that most of the time people e spend before 18 years old should be fully on school. This writer completely agrees with this opinion because the benefits of improving citizens’ intelligent better when people can have more time to focus on studying, moreover the quality of people in school can also improve a lot.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media

Word Count

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter: Describe the item you bought and why you need it. Explain why you are not happy with it. Say what you would like the manager to do.

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think that it is a waste of valuable money.

Some people think all young people should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+