some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media
In the 21st century, some people think that the
media
should not Use synonyms
share
details about Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celebrities
private and daily Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
lives
. In my opinion, I partly agree with Use synonyms
this
opinion, and I will discuss it in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, when Linking Words
celebrities
Use synonyms
share
their private Use synonyms
lives
on social Use synonyms
media
or TV, they can face negative opinions from the public and attract bad news. Use synonyms
For example
, if a superstar works in a movie and has good chemistry with a cooperation star, fans might ship them as a couple. But if the celebrity has a Linking Words
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
life
partner, Use synonyms
this
can affect their work, daily Linking Words
life
, and family. The audience might put pressure on them with toxic information, and Use synonyms
this
could lead to social Linking Words
media
attacks. Use synonyms
However
, by being open with the public, Linking Words
celebrities
can Use synonyms
also
build a stronger image with their fans.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
celebrities
create social Use synonyms
media
pages or YouTube channels to Use synonyms
share
their daily Use synonyms
life
, Use synonyms
such
as preparing for a fashion show. They can Linking Words
also
earn money from these activities and use it for charity work, like helping children's hospitals. Linking Words
Additionally
, by sharing their Linking Words
lives
, Use synonyms
celebrities
can attract viewers and people learn about their Use synonyms
personality
, family Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
background
, and how their Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
is
different from the audience
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
if
or not Correct word choice
whether
celebrities
Use synonyms
share
their daily or private Use synonyms
life
depends on the person. It is not always negative, and the audience should not focus too deeply on the private Use synonyms
lives
of Use synonyms
celebrities
Use synonyms
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task achievement
In your essay, there's a good attempt at presenting a balanced view. To improve further, consider providing more detailed examples and elaboration to strengthen your main points. For instance, you might discuss specific instances where sharing private lives had positive or negative impacts on celebrities.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally coherent and follow a logical progression. However, ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear, distinct main point would enhance clarity. Make sure your transitions between ideas are smooth and more pronounced to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing your main points more explicitly and firmly stating your stance. This will make your conclusion more impactful and cohesive with the rest of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates thoughtful task achievement.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.