It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
A group of
people
believe that the elder
should have a vocation if they have Replace the word
elderly
a
potency.I subscribe to the notion that all Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
should work and earn some money during young
، adult, Correct pronoun usage
their young
and
especially senility Correct word choice
apply
age
because of mental plus
physical Correct word choice
and
health
and providing needs, althogh
old generation Correct your spelling
although
need
to be Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
relax
and repose more than Wrong verb form
relaxed
youth
period.
there are a number of benefits to work in their old Correct article usage
the youth
age
. Firstly
, old men require
be aware of their Add the particle
require to
helath
, including mental Correct your spelling
health
health
. when they become senile, all of their children might leave them, besides
Correct word choice
and
those
Correct pronoun usage
they
feel
loneliness leading to miscellaneous mental diseases like schizophrenia and Correct pronoun usage
who feel
bi-polar
disorder. Correct your spelling
bipolar
as
well as, having fragile bones, the elders have to bear motions. Capitalize word
As
Additionally
, an amount of pensions
Fix the agreement mistake
pension
are
not sufficient for bearing Correct subject-verb agreement
is
effective
life Correct article usage
an effective
since
some Change preposition
for
reasones
like inflation and stagnation. Correct your spelling
reasons
For instance
, imposing sanction
, Fix the agreement mistake
sanctions
hyperinflation
Correct word choice
and hyperinflation
clouds
my country for many years Wrong verb form
has clouded
those
who have a quite of jobs in order to meet their basic needs.
Change preposition
for those
on the other hand
, there is a disadvantage. old age
people
do not have a
stamina and Correct article usage
the
reslience
like Correct your spelling
resilience
thier
young Correct your spelling
their
age
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
therefore
those need to spend their time with family and rest more beacuse
if they took novel responsibilities and difficult jobs , it would be possible that their Correct your spelling
because
health
might be threathened
readily.
as outlined above, Correct your spelling
threatened
people
should have a job during the
time, Correct your spelling
that
although
old
generation Correct article usage
the old
have
to heed their potential and abilities to Change the verb form
has
chose
a light work since they are able to make Wrong verb form
choose
intraction
and enhance Correct your spelling
interaction
thier
Correct your spelling
their
health
level plu boost thier
Correct your spelling
their
sprits
.Correct your spelling
spirits
Submitted by pooya.sheytoon2 on
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Introduce more specific examples and real-life instances to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the accuracy and variety of vocabulary. Simplify complex ideas for better understanding.
logical structure
The essay covers various aspects, considering both advantages and disadvantages.
complete response
The response addresses the prompt with relevant points and explanations.
clear comprehensive ideas
Reasonable attempt to discuss and balance the pros and cons of elderly people working.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.