IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

City centres are very crowded with cars. They often cause a great deal of pollution. Cars should be banned from all centres. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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City
Use synonyms
midpoint
Fix the agreement mistake
midpoints
show examples
 are very packed with
cars
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 and those can
impacting
Change the verb form
impact
be impacting
show examples
 on a big deal of air pollution. It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 should be banned from all
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
Linking Words
 view because it can
impacted
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
 the citizens'
healths
Fix the agreement mistake
health
show examples
 and can create
loss
Add an article
a loss
show examples
 in
productivity
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. The main reason
cars
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 should prohibited
to enter
Change preposition
from entering
show examples
 the
city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 they can
caused
Change the verb form
cause
be caused
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health issues.
Polution
Correct your spelling
Pollution
 is identically
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
lung's
Change noun form
lung
show examples
 problems and
hence
Linking Words
 it will cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious injuries to
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 live in
especially
Add an article
the especially
an especially
show examples
 hyper-density
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city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Guazhou in China and Jakarta in Indonesia, the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
lung's
Change noun form
lung
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 is rising throughout the year
due to
Linking Words
cars
Use synonyms
 that are moving
aroung
Correct your spelling
around
 the
city
Use synonyms
 daily.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can see the thick fog circling the
high rise
Add a hyphen
high-rise
show examples
 building every morning. Another impact is
cars
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 can create
loss
Add an article
a loss
show examples
 in
productivity
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
sick
Correct quantifier usage
number of sick
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 because of the
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 and traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 that can
last
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than 3 hours. With massive
cars
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 and
people
Use synonyms
 who use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in the
city
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, every rush hour or after office hour, it can create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 traffic jam and
impacting
Wrong verb form
impact
show examples
 the
people
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 who can arrive early in the office.
For example
Linking Words
, if the working hours start from 9 am, they should drive from their home from 7 am because most
people
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 who work in the
city
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 live outside of the area because the rent price
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to
higher
Add a missing verb
be higher
show examples
 in the
city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of
productivity
Use synonyms
 in 2 hours just for driving and
got
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 stuck
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 traffic jam. In conclusion,
cars
Use synonyms
 should be prohibited in the middle point of a
city
Use synonyms
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can create
health
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
 impact and
Correct your spelling
decreasing
decresing
Correct your spelling
decrease
people
Use synonyms
's
productivity
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in grammar and verb tenses. Strengthen the argument by elaborating more on the potential solutions after banning cars and how it will benefit different demographic groups.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and eliminate grammatical mistakes to improve clarity. For instance, phrases like 'they can caused' and 'can create lost of productivity' need to be corrected. Make sure to use proper conjunctions for better flow.
task achievement
The essay clearly states the position on the topic in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the mention of Guangzhou and Jakarta, helps in supporting the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with identifiable points and a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to another.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • public transport
  • air quality
  • environmental impact
  • commuting
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • sustainable transportation
  • urban planning
  • green initiatives
  • foot traffic
  • economic impact
  • well-being
  • health outcomes
  • electric scooters
  • noise pollution
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