Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the resposibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion.

It is often believed supermarkets should reduce the
amount
of packaging for their products but some people think it is the
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of individuals. I partially support the latter view, for their acts for the
environment
have an incredible effect on its protection regardless of the importance of supermarket
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
show examples
in altering the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and thought of consumers. On the one hand, it is significant for supermarkets to reduce unnecessary
package
Fix the agreement mistake
packages
show examples
to promote the awareness of the
environment
among consumers.
In other words
, packaging in a different proportion to meet their needs creates more waste of plastic and cans, which are harmful to
nature
.
Instead
, they should simplify packaging by selling a large quantity of food to limit their use.
Consequently
, customers are more encouraged to alter their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
by dividing it into a different
container
Fix the agreement mistake
containers
show examples
for storage, which promotes their understanding of the
environment
.
On the other hand
, customers should be responsible for reducing
package
Fix the agreement mistake
packages
show examples
since it is more sustainable, leading to a
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
nature
. Indeed, an individual effort is essential to reduce a greater
amount
of waste continuously to prevent accumulating damage to wild animals and plants.
For instance
, bringing containers and eco-bags in which customers can put whatever
amount
of vegetables and meat leads to a surprising decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
plastic waste.
Furthermore
,
such
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of individuals has a prolonged effect on
nature
as they learn to concern
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
environment
. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that individuals should play a primary role in reducing the
amount
of
package
Fix the agreement mistake
packages
show examples
with the use of personal bags and containers
due to
their lasting impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
nature
.
However
, supermarkets should
also
promote these
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
by selling food in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
larger
quantity
Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
show examples
to avoid unnecessary packaging.
Submitted by mizuho on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully supported with specific details and examples. For instance, when discussing the supermarket's role, you could provide more concrete examples of how reducing packaging might lead to increased consumer awareness.
task achievement
Try to improve the clarity of some sentences. For example, the sentence 'for their acts for the environment have an incredible effect on its protection regardless of the importance of supermarket effort in altering the behavior and thought of consumers' could be simplified and clarified to make it more comprehensible.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Statements such as 'On the other hand' can be overused and sometimes create a jarring effect if not used appropriately within the context.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a balanced view, which provides a well-rounded discussion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, concise, and relevant to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Main points are clearly stated and easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable packaging
  • bulk buying
  • environmentally friendly
  • power of choice
  • regulatory bodies
  • mandate
  • incentives
  • collaborative efforts
  • reusable containers
  • reduction in packaging waste
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