The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

Education is the basic right of every human and is a very important part
for
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of
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the upliftment of
the
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apply
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society. Nowadays, it has become a debatable issue among peers if
government
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the government
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should
subisidize
Correct your spelling
subsidise
more towards those who cannot read or write than helping other youngsters. In my perspective,
government
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the government
show examples
should them more than others. The first and foremost, reason for providing more funds to those who are challenged, is to make them feel supported and motivated.
For example
, it has been witnessed in
familes
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families
,
those
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that those
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who are impaired
they are
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have
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never
given
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been given
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an opportunity since their childhoods. Neither in their families nor in schools.
This
innitiative
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initiative
can really make a distinction in their lives. It will help in the progress of the society and economy.
World
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The world
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will become a better place where more educated people will live and it secures the country's future as well. The second reason is,
educating
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that educating
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the
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apply
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adults will reduce the rate of unemployment and poverty.
For example
, they will be taught in a special manner which will make them capable of working in the real
world
shoulder to shoulder.
Also
, the naturally challenged adults, who will be given an
opporunity
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opportunity
to study in their adulthood, will give them a sense of achievement in the real
world
,.
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,
.
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Hence
, they can implement the knowledge at their jobs and help their families
while
making some
earning
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earnings
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.
This
will nurture the country's economy too. In conclusion, I would say everyone has the right to get
the
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an
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education but those who are with special needs should be given attention.
This
is, because they are naturally inferior to others and if they
will be
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are
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given
an
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apply
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extra aid, it will only boost their confidence. They and their upcoming generations will not only have faith in
goverenment
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government
, but
also
in
human kind
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humankind
show examples
which will make a distinction in the
world
.
Submitted by kiranbirkaur003 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Try using more linking words and phrases to enhance the connection between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples provided are directly relevant to the main points being discussed. This makes your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear outline of your stance and effectively summarizing your arguments.
complete response
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a substantial response to the topic of prioritizing education for adults who cannot read or write.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy
  • illiteracy
  • funding
  • resources
  • early education
  • educational foundation
  • economic benefits
  • societal impact
  • eradicating illiteracy
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • intersectionality
  • case studies
  • allocation of resources
  • long-term benefits
  • contribution
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • social issues
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