The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #people #priority #countries #world #adults #society

Education is the basic right of every human and is a very important part

for

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the upliftment of

the

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apply

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society. Nowadays, it has become a debatable issue among peers if

government

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the government

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should

subisidize

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subsidise

more towards those who cannot read or write than helping other youngsters. In my perspective,

government

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the government

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should them more than others. The first and foremost, reason for providing more funds to those who are challenged, is to make them feel supported and motivated.

For example

, it has been witnessed in

familes

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families

those

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that those

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who are impaired

they are

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have

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never

given

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been given

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an opportunity since their childhoods. Neither in their families nor in schools.

This

innitiative

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initiative

can really make a distinction in their lives. It will help in the progress of the society and economy.

World

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The world

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will become a better place where more educated people will live and it secures the country's future as well. The second reason is,

educating

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that educating

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the

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apply

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adults will reduce the rate of unemployment and poverty.

For example

, they will be taught in a special manner which will make them capable of working in the real

world

shoulder to shoulder.

Also

, the naturally challenged adults, who will be given an

opporunity

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opportunity

to study in their adulthood, will give them a sense of achievement in the real

world

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Hence

, they can implement the knowledge at their jobs and help their families

while

making some

earning

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earnings

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This

will nurture the country's economy too. In conclusion, I would say everyone has the right to get

the

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education but those who are with special needs should be given attention.

This

is, because they are naturally inferior to others and if they

will be

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are

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given

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apply

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extra aid, it will only boost their confidence. They and their upcoming generations will not only have faith in

goverenment

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government

, but

also

human kind

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humankind

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which will make a distinction in the

world

Submitted by kiranbirkaur003 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Try using more linking words and phrases to enhance the connection between ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that all examples provided are directly relevant to the main points being discussed. This makes your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear outline of your stance and effectively summarizing your arguments.

complete response

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a substantial response to the topic of prioritizing education for adults who cannot read or write.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

literacy
illiteracy
funding
resources
early education
educational foundation
economic benefits
societal impact
eradicating illiteracy
moral and ethical responsibility
intersectionality
case studies
allocation of resources
long-term benefits
contribution
unemployment
poverty
social issues

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The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

this is the police budget and how the money was spent in 2017 and 2018. Make a summary and compare when relevant

Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that there are constant traffic jams in many cities around the world. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?