Some people believe that modern technology, such as the internet and smartphones,creates more problems than it solves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Communication
technology
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is
on
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at
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its fastest pace today. It is believed that
this
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contenporary
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contemporary
technology
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such
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as
Correct article usage
the ineternet
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ineternet
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Internet
or 5G
technology
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for mobile phones generates more complicated social issues
instead
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of solving problems. Personally,
this
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statement sounds sensible. There are reasons to support and
delibereated
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deliberated
deliberate
as following.
Innitially
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Initially
,
the
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apply
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modern
technology
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has been designed and thought
as
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of as
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the means to eliminate any obstacles relating to
hunman communicatuion
Correct your spelling
human communication
.
The fast
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Fast
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and effective communication is believed to mitigate and make
the
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apply
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misunderstanding
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misunderstandings
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or
the
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apply
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delay
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delays
show examples
of
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in
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information
to be
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being
show examples
delivered to the other end disappear.
Nonetheless
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, none would expect that
this
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pace could in fact bring about the problem. The receiver of the message or information would not take
sometime
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some time
show examples
to rectify the message, and
this
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leads to
the
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a
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disastrous result.
Moreover
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, the other obvious issue
seen
Verb problem
apply
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is that the older generation cannot keep up with the
advance
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advances
show examples
of
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in
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the
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apply
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technology
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. Since the
use
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of the
techology
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technology
must be updated, those
population
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populations
show examples
born before the birth of the internet would find it hard for them.
Consequently
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,
this
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results in
frauds
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fraud
show examples
and crimes derived from the wrong
use
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of
the
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apply
show examples
mobile phones and the internet. News about
elderly
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the elderly
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cheated
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cheating
show examples
or losing money from
the
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apply
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theft over the
use
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of new
technology
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that they cannot keep up
has
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with has
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been heard more frequently nearly every day on the media.
To conclude
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, it is undeniable that the advancement of
technology
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is needed and
essentail
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essential
, and
this
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is unstoppable. The greatness of
technology
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expected at first may not always solve all the
problem
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problems
show examples
, but the level of problems could
instead
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increase the severity. Some
inoformation
Correct your spelling
information
could be distorted
while
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some who are confused by the
use
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of
this
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technology
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may lose or be taken
advantages
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advantage
show examples
of, leading to
another social issues
Replace the adjective
another social issue
other social issues
show examples
where worse impacts are created.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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task achievement
The essay would benefit from clearer examples to support your points. You mentioned frauds and crimes related to technology but did not provide specific examples.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, some minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'contenporary' instead of 'contemporary' and 'ineternet' instead of 'internet,' can be distracting. A quick proofread can improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
There are some awkward phrases like 'the delay of information to be delivered to the other end disappear' which could be rephrased for better understanding. Consider revising sentences for improved readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in the overall structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay's body paragraphs are logically structured and contain relevant arguments.
task achievement
You have successfully presented a balanced view and provided reasoning for your stance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Cyberbullying
  • 2. Digital addiction
  • 3. Invasion of privacy
  • 4. Digital divide
  • 5. Enhanced communication
  • 6. Global connectivity
  • 7. Access to information
  • 8. Convenience
  • 9. Technological advancements
  • 10. Healthcare innovations
  • 11. Social media
  • 12. Online security
  • 13. Data breaches
  • 14. Privacy concerns
  • 15. Efficiency
  • 16. Telemedicine
  • 17. E-learning
  • 18. Virtual reality
  • 19. Internet of Things (IoT)
  • 20. Artificial Intelligence (AI)
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