IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion

#people #shop #supermarkets #shops #markets #development
People tend to buy their groceries from supermarkets
instead
 of local
shops
. In my point of view, the
vareity
Correct your spelling
variety
, quality, and sales are the prime reasons for preferring hypermarkets. The most obvious reason is supermarkets' variety. People can select from multiple brands,
sections
Correct word choice
and sections
show examples
, and have a wide range of
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
. They provide customers with
Correct article usage
a varient
show examples
varient
Correct your spelling
variety
products
Change preposition
of products
show examples
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 seafood, fruits, detergents, vegan
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
, and even clothes. It is almost
granteed
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
 that consumers will
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 their needs or at least alternatives. A family will be able to get their essential needs from groceries to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal stuff in only one place
instead
 of multiple stops.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 significant reason is the quality of their sales. Hypermarkets usually export fruits and
vegtebles
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 internationally,
whereas
 small
shops
 are limited to local greens.
For example
, coconuts
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 Africa can be found easily in
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 east at supermarkets.
Furthermore
, the discounts that hypermarkets offer are competitive. Since they
consider
Wrong verb form
are considered
show examples
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a huge company and their profits triple the local
shops
, they provide big deals and offers which grab consumers' attention.
To conclude
, people prefer
subermarkets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
 for numerous reasons which are the
vareity
Correct your spelling
variety
 and high quality compared to local
shops
.
Submitted by remasalotaibi678 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide a clearer explanation of why shopping in supermarkets is better for development. Delve deeper into the implications on local economies and communities.
task achievement
Ensure that spelling and grammatical errors are minimized. Words like 'variety,' 'guarantee,' 'variant,' and 'vegetables' need correct spelling to maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
Structure the essay with clear transitions and logical flow. There are a few abrupt jumps between ideas. Use linking words and phrases to improve the coherence.
support ideas
Expand on your examples. Ensure they are specific and relevant to support your arguments more robustly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion effectively.
structure
The use of specific sections and structured paragraphs makes the essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: