IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Fast food is very popular these days and many people depend on fast food as their main meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating fast food?

#food #people #meals
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In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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, lots of
people
Use synonyms
are depends
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are depending
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 on fast
food
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 as their primary meal
due to
Linking Words
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 popularity. Considering the fact that it is
main
Add an article
a main
the main
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 meal which offers numerous advantages and
disadvantges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 to its consumers. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will provide a comprehensive benefits and drawbacks of consuming
juck
Correct your spelling
junk
food
Use synonyms
.
People
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 are eating junk
food
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 as the main source of
food
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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because it is easily
accesible
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accessible
 and
convinient
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convenient
. In most cases, it can be seen that fast
food
Use synonyms
 saves
lot
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a lot
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 of time
,
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apply
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 and
efforts
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effort
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 of
people
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. For
instances
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instance
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, working professionals often don’t have much time to cook, so it is an easy option for them to choose. Apart from that,
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of options are available for
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consumers to select what they like and eat.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
On the other hand
Linking Words
, consuming it in an
excessible
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excessive
accessible
 amount can lead to many health issues among
people
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.
Healht
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Health
 issues like
diabeste
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diabetes
,
cholestrol
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cholesterol
, and high blood pressure can be seen among
individuls
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individuals
whos
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whose
show examples
 intake of junk
food
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 is higher in comparison to
people
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 who eat less calorie
food
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. One of the
study
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studies
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 conducted in India,
2016
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in 2016
show examples
 on school children reported that obesity can be seen in children who prefer eating junk
food
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 mostly but
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 cases of it are
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
in students who are eating
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
 meals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In conclusion, eating
juck
Correct your spelling
junk
food
Use synonyms
 saves tle
wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
 it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 you numerous health problems.
Submitted by ali695313 on

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language
Consider revisiting the grammatical structures and vocabulary to avoid inaccuracies. For instance, phrases like 'depends on' should be 'depend on' and 'it popularity' should be 'its popularity.'
task response
Ensure that you cover all aspects comprehensively. While you have mentioned several points, elaborating on them further will strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Your essay would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs. Consider using linking words to enhance the flow of ideas.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provide a framework for the essay.
examples
You have provided relevant specific examples which add credibility to your points.
clarity
The main points are clearly mentioned and explained, making it easier to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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