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Band 4

Fast food is very popular these days and many people depend on fast food as their main meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating fast food?

#food #people #meals
In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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, lots of
people
are depends
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are depending
show examples
 on fast
food
 as their primary meal
due to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 popularity. Considering the fact that it is
main
Add an article
a main
the main
show examples
 meal which offers numerous advantages and
disadvantges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 to its consumers. In
this
 essay, I will provide a comprehensive benefits and drawbacks of consuming
juck
Correct your spelling
junk
food
.
People
 are eating junk
food
 as the main source of
food
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because it is easily
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 and
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
. In most cases, it can be seen that fast
food
 saves
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of time
,
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apply
show examples
 and
efforts
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effort
show examples
 of
people
. For
instances
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instance
show examples
, working professionals often don’t have much time to cook, so it is an easy option for them to choose. Apart from that,
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of options are available for
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consumers to select what they like and eat.
Furthermore
,
On the other hand
, consuming it in an
excessible
Correct your spelling
excessive
accessible
 amount can lead to many health issues among
people
.
Healht
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Health
 issues like
diabeste
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diabetes
,
cholestrol
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cholesterol
, and high blood pressure can be seen among
individuls
Correct your spelling
individuals
whos
Correct your spelling
whose
show examples
 intake of junk
food
 is higher in comparison to
people
 who eat less calorie
food
. One of the
study
Change to a plural noun
studies
show examples
 conducted in India,
2016
Change preposition
in 2016
show examples
 on school children reported that obesity can be seen in children who prefer eating junk
food
 mostly but
less
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fewer
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 cases of it are
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
in students who are eating
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
 meals.
Moreover
, In conclusion, eating
juck
Correct your spelling
junk
food
 saves tle
wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
 it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 you numerous health problems.
Submitted by ali695313 on

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language
Consider revisiting the grammatical structures and vocabulary to avoid inaccuracies. For instance, phrases like 'depends on' should be 'depend on' and 'it popularity' should be 'its popularity.'
task response
Ensure that you cover all aspects comprehensively. While you have mentioned several points, elaborating on them further will strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Your essay would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs. Consider using linking words to enhance the flow of ideas.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provide a framework for the essay.
examples
You have provided relevant specific examples which add credibility to your points.
clarity
The main points are clearly mentioned and explained, making it easier to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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