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Band 5

Climate change is an important global issue. Rising temperatures, extreme weather events, and environmental loss hurt our planet. Individual actions (such as recycling and taking public transportation) are the solution to reducing climate change. Do you agree or disagree?

#climate #change #temperatures #weather #events #loss #planet #actions #transportation
Nowadays,
climate
change
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is a crucial concern
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
global
Correct article usage
the global
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 level.
Causes
Correct article usage
The causes
show examples
 of
climate
change
 are global warming, detrimental weather events and loss of habitats. There are some
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
show examples
 that everyone has to take some measures to eradicate
this
 issue. I agree with
this
 noble idea and will discuss it in
this
 essay clearly. One of the significant actions to manage the
climate
change
 is recycling. In other words, using the objects more than one time is called
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
recycling.
For instance
, when humans start to
re-use
Correct your spelling
reuse
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
timbers
Fix the agreement mistake
timber
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,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 helps to reduce the amount of cutting trees
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
be protected
Wrong verb form
protect
show examples
 the habitats and forests. if we can preserve the forests which help to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
extreme weather conditions
such
 as soil erosion and flood .
Furthermore
, if we use recycling that helps to reduce the litter in the environment because of that our surrounding environment is likely to be clean and free from any disease. The other individual action could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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have been to take public transportation. To be more precise , people tend to go by public transportation
while
,
avoid to go
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
 their own
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 which can reduce the amount of
carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
.
Carbon
 oxides,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are the substances that massively cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming .Numerous amounts of
carbon
 dioxide
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can produced from fossil fuel which is the energy source of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
For example
, research shows that in in past two decades temperature of the earth has risen
due to
 the huge contribution of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon
 oxides .
Thus
, when people use common transportation it leads to
erdicate
Correct your spelling
eradicate
indicate
 the
climate
change
.
To conclude
, everyone who lives on the earth has the responsibility to preserve the world for our future generation well well-being. Unless we take that concern our future life is likely to be endangered.
Thus
 , I believe and agree recycling and using public commute
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 has brought huge benefits to eradicate the
climate
change
 challenge that has been faced by the earth.
Submitted by jivenica1998 on

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task achievement
Your essay responds well to the task by providing relevant examples and covering both aspects of the statement. However, you need to elaborate more on your points and ensure they are fully developed.
coherence cohesion
While the structure is generally logical, there are instances where ideas could be linked more cohesively. Using more signposting words and phrases can help smooth transitions between points and paragraphs.
language accuracy
Some grammatical sentences require correction, and certain phrases could be more concise and clear. Work on refining your sentence construction to improve clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay and presents a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples which help illustrate your points well about recycling and public transportation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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