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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's corree and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's corree and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people #corree #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
The supplied graph illustrates the proportion of city residents
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
coffee
 and
tea
 buying and drinking habits. In overview, the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to a cafe for
coffee
 or
tea
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks is around 65% in
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
,
melbourne
Change the capitalization
Melbourne
show examples
 and
hobart
Change the capitalization
Hobart
show examples
,
While
, around 35% of citizens bought fresh
coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks. Generally speaking, in
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
 above 60% of local citizens went to enjoy
coffee
 or
tea
 in
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 4 weeks, in which around 45% of residents bought fresh & instant
coffee
.
In contrast
,
this
 ratio is almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in
melbourne
Change the capitalization
Melbourne
show examples
, just a fractional change can be seen.
On the contrary
, in
brisbane
Change the capitalization
Brisbane
show examples
 and
Change the capitalization
Adelaide
show examples
adelaide
Add a comma
adelaide,
show examples
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 amount of people bought fresh
coffee
. The city in which the ratio of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 went to shops for
coffee
 and
tea
 in
latest
Add an article
a latest
the latest
show examples
 month is lower than others is
adelaide
Change the capitalization
Adelaide
show examples
.
Lastly
, in
hobrat
Correct your spelling
Hobart
, more than half residents go to
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
.
Submitted by kirivlogs0 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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