Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion
It is important to unwind after a long duty. Some individuals choose physical
activities
to relax rather than other people who prefer brain
activities
such
as puzzles or playing chess. From my perspective, it depend
on person to person, because the methods of relaxation are different for everyone. I will support my opinion with arguments in the essay below.
Change the verb form
depends
To begin
with, it is a viable option for some humans to play real-time games
to relax after hard duty. For example
, playing football, cricket, tennis etc has a fundamental effect on our body
. Additionally
, Games
play a significant role in our lives. It not only makes us healthy and fit but also
makes us active for the next day. Hence
, I wholeheartedly believe that,
physical activity is a great thing to relax.
Remove the comma
apply
Secondly
, Mental activities
such
as playing games
, which include brain
work , not body
. Add an article
the body
a body
Furthermore
, this
not only boosts our memory strength but also
makes us make quick decisions. To illustrate, chess is an ancient game, the greatest kings play these games
to expand their brain
memory, so they can think broadly. On the other hand
, according to
many researchers, puzzles are not only good for adolescents but also
for adults' mental health. So, activity by the brain
is as important as activity by the body
.
In conclusion, some are tired by the brain
rather than the body
, so it depends on the person. Whether,
physical Remove the comma
apply
activities
suit them or mental activities
. Activities
are important, no matter its a
physical or mental.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by kirivlogs0 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to ensure grammatical accuracy and consistency throughout the essay to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Expand your arguments with more specific examples and detailed explanations to better support your points.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes both an introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
complete response
You presented both perspectives clearly and provided appropriate reasoning for your views.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!