Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

There are countless problems in the world but one of the major topics is the limiting of fresh
water
. No matter how people are smart and adaptable, fresh
water
is not replaceable with anything other than itself. In the following paragraphs, I will mention a few causes of increasing demand and responses we could take to
this
subject. First of all, every single living organism must consume fresh
water
in order to cognitively function.
Moreover
, when it comes to humans, we use
water
other than just drinking. The process we execute in our daily routine uses tonnes of
water
, and
this
is all the same for
an other
Correct your spelling
another
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billion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
. Even more, the
water
must go through distillation in order to get purified before getting into our bodies.
This
entire process enhances complexity even more. The increasing demand for pure
water
,
Remove the comma
apply
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is directly proportional to the
number
of us, humans. The more we exist, the more
water
will be needed and must be purified. To counter the problem stated above, some measures could be taken by governments. One of the finest keys to the solution is decreasing and minimizing the human
number
. The government and another huge group of organisations could execute campaigns
such
as slaughtering a
number
of patients who decided to end their own lives. Even more, advertising the use of protection to offspring could minimize the
number
of the next generation. The direct change to the cause is the quickest yet, the easiest way to solve
this
complexity. In conclusion, the
water
source is very limited on Earth.
On the other hand
, our population increases each year passes by. If we keep
this
going without planning ahead, there will be a moment when nothing can be done except for regret and our world will collapse in the blink of an eye.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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task achievement
Your essay needs more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. Try to use relevant statistics, studies, or real-world examples.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and clear, the logical structure of your essay could be improved. Ensure that each point flows logically to the next and is clearly linked to the main idea.
task achievement
The point proposing the minimization of the human number through drastic measures like 'slaughtering' is inappropriate and unrealistic. Offer more practical and ethical solutions such as promoting water conservation, improving water management systems, and investing in desalination technologies.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction that presents the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main ideas.
task achievement
You've highlighted the importance of water in daily human activities and the growing demand due to population increase, which is relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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