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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares the number of mobile phones purchased from 5 celebrated brands from 2009 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Nokia
Use synonyms
 and Samsung
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the most popular types of phones used.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of Samsung and Apple increased and
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
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 was true for
Nokia
Use synonyms
 and LG over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time.
However
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Nokia
Use synonyms
 placed first in 2009 with a record of around 440
million
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
show examples
 recorded the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 with a figure of 10
million
Use synonyms
. Samsung phones
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 significantly sold from approximately 240
million
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 in 2009 to over 400
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Apple followed the same trend and
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to a value of exactly 150
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Nokia
Use synonyms
 and LG followed a dramatic decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 starting from 440
million
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 and 120
million
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 and
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
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 to 250
million
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 and 80
million
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, ZTE followed a slight incline in
sales
Use synonyms
 and reached 50
million
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 starting from 40
million
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nokia, sales, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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