IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes and what actions can be taken to prevent it?

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As a consequence
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 of the rapidly increasing
population
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, the
traffic
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 has
also
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 significantly surged over the past few years. It has become a major
problem
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 in various cities and towns worldwide. Multiple steps can be taken to resolve
this
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 issue,
such
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 as constructing wider roads, promoting the use of public
transport
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 and many more.
This
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 essay aims to elaborate on the possible causes and solutions in regard to
this
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 issue. The
problem
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 of
traffic
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 is directly proportional to the
population
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 of the place. Recent studies substantiate
this
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 argument, illustrating statistics of many cities like New York, Mumbai, and Delhi which have gained popularity for their high volume
traffic
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 flow
that is
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 a consequence of their
population
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. Another reason contributing to
this
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problem
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 is the lack of convenient and affordable public
transport
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.
This
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 causes people to travel in private vehicles and taxis, contributing to
traffic
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.
However
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,
this
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problem
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 can be solved by taking some concrete steps
such
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 as constructing wider roads
as well as
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 highways wherever possible, as
this
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 would ease the flow and decrease congestion.
Moreover
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, the government should motivate citizens to use public
transport
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 by making it cost-effective and easily available.
Additionally
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,
focus
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the focus
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 should be on increasing
connectivity
Correct article usage
the connectivity
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 of public transportation. In a recent study, it proved that
introduction
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the introduction
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 of
Metro
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the Metro
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 Railway in Delhi
,
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apply
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 reduced
the
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apply
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road
traffic
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 profoundly.
Additionally
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, programs like car-pooling should be encouraged among people, and awareness events should be held at offices and universities to educate people about carbon footprint, and how a small change in an individual’s life can impact the earth in the
long-run
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long run
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. In conclusion, the congestion on roads has rapidly increased over the years corresponding to the rise in
population
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 in various cities globally.
However
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, it can be tackled by proper road mapping,
as well as
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 by encouraging public
transport
Use synonyms
 among the masses.

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task response
Consider using more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded in reality.
task response
Ensure that all points are elaborated thoroughly. For instance, discussing measures like implementing cycling lanes or telecommuting could add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-organized, try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to maintain the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
You might want to use more transition words and phrases to further improve the flow and connection between your ideas, such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'consequently'.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay very well, providing an overview of the main points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and sticks to one main idea, which helps in maintaining coherence.
task response
Good use of specific cities to illustrate points about traffic and population, enhancing the relevance of your arguments.
task response
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reinforces the suggested solutions, leaving a strong final impression.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urbanization
  • car ownership
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion pricing
  • population growth
  • commute
  • sustainable transport
  • traffic management
  • ride-sharing
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