Subject: Music is an indispensable part of our lives. Many people think that music aids in bringing people and nations close because of the similarities they share in cultures and traditions.

#music #part #lives #people #aids #nations #similarities #cultures #traditions

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Music

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is an indispensable part of our lives. Many people think that

music

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aids in bringing people and

nations

Use synonyms

close because of the similarities they

Use synonyms

in cultures and traditions. I concur with the view that

music

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’s significance is prevalent among

nations

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and individuals because many

nations

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predominant historical backgrounds and juveniles have similar tastes in

music

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To begin

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with, the role of

music

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is regarded as fundamental in developing love and regard among

nations

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. Many

nations

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across the globe

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common historical backgrounds

such

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as India and Pakistan. So, their cultures and traditions are not distinct from each other and

hence

Linking Words

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common interests and allow others to participate in others’

music

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. For illustration, a recent popular Pakistani song, Blockbuster, became popular in India, as the

most played

Add a hyphen

most-played

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song of 2024. So, having a common background and

same

Correct article usage

the same

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language brings people of

nations

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together.

On the other hand

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, musical taste among adolescents is popular when it comes to musical genres, especially rock. Juveniles seem to fascinate and are prone to develop friendships with

the

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apply

show examples

students of common taste because they ponder that they

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a common mindset.

For example

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, renowned American musician and singer Justin Beiber

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apply

show examples

is widely popular among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters. Young minds especially students feel ecstatic

while

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exchanging his albums.

Consequently

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this

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develops harmony and affection for each other.

To conclude

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music

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helps in augmenting

the

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apply

show examples

relationships by bringing the populace

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into

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a common interest. Masses love promoting each other's

music

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while

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some amalgamate different musical genres to develop closeness and correlate distinct

nations

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Furthermore

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this

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improves the relations of

country’s

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countries

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across

the

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apply

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borders and ameliorates loathe because it fosters peace and happiness. \

Submitted by uroojzulqernain on Wed Sep 04 2024

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clarity

While the essay is well-structured, there are some sentences which could benefit from improved clarity and conciseness. Try to simplify sentences for better readability.

support

Although the arguments provided are strong, expanding a bit more on each point, perhaps with additional examples, could further reinforce your position.

language

Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofreading your essay can help catch these.

structure

A clear introduction and conclusion effectively framed the essay.

task response

The essay presents a relevant and complete response to the prompt, addressing the connection between music, culture, and international relationships.

examples

Specific and relevant examples were used, like the popularity of a Pakistani song in India, which strengthened your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

indispensable
transcend
cultural exchange
universal language
global collaborations
music festivals
diplomatic relations
emotional effects
rituals
celebrations
traditions
psychological impact
unity
linguistic barriers
fostering friendships
similarities

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Subject: Music is an indispensable part of our lives. Many people think that music aids in bringing people and nations close because of the similarities they share in cultures and traditions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write about the following topic Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

Some people think that, to learn about other countries, traveling abroad is necessary while others think that is not necessary because TV and the internet can give the same information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?