Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Economic growth, as one of the most essential parts of a country’s policy, needs to develop year by year. But is it the only sphere on which government should pay attention? In
this
essay we will discuss types of national progress, that should be noticed by the administration. Doubtless that economic is important for country’s development and rise. It has a huge influence on people’s lives, providing workplaces, products, properties and entertainment. Every year we can see inflation of salaries and prices, which creates opportunities to get a higher place in the World’s policy. World country lists, in turn, help to build better relationships with other nations, to exchange information or for manufacturing growth. However
, it is not the only scope that authority should pay attention to. On the other hand
, education and technology are now the most topical spheres of activity besides
the economy. At present, technologies develop with
a dramatic speed and bring numerous advantages to countries. Change preposition
at
For instance
, Japan is now the most innovative country in the world, owing to the attention that the government pay to this
sphere. While
ministries get stuck on economic growth, saving
on education, they accidentally can lose many opportunities. In conclusion, government and administration shouldn’t focus on one area, every one of them needs to be equally developed. Highlighting the economy in relation to othersCorrect word choice
and saving
,
can become a reason for balance destruction.Remove the comma
apply
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task achievement
Ensure to provide a balanced discussion by including well-supported points for both views. While you discussed the importance of economic growth and technology, provide more specific examples and precise arguments for education as well.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph naturally leads to the next to make the essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You correctly addressed the prompt by discussing both views on economic progress and other types of progress.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite