IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries around the world men and women are having children later age than in the past. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

#countries #world #men #women #children #age #development #effects #society #life
In the modernized era, having
children
 later age than in previous years is a debated theme. The reasons for
this
 development and its effects on
society
 and family
life
 will be mentioned in the following paragraph.
To begin
, there are a lot of sources for having kids early.
Firstly
, in the past, the amount of newborn babies
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 born because of the lack of birth prevention methods which decreased the population explosion.
Secondly
, youngsters's priorities are changing. Before building a stable family, people want to focus on their careers, health and finances.
Therefore
, their
children
 will be born in the best condition.
For example
, in Vietnam in the war years, people prioritized protecting the homeland and leaving the matter of starting a family behind , so that ancestors in later generations would be lived in piece.
Moreover
, having
children
 later age has some disadvantages for both
society
 and personal
life
, especially during marriage
life
. For
society
, the reduction of the young population means an increase in elderly residents.
Therefore
, these countries lack of workforce and cause financial conveniences later. In some cases of personal
life
, the quality of the relationship in the family will be affected because lacking the existence of the seed of love.
Finally
, for individuals, there is no generational transmission
causes
Correct pronoun usage
that causes
show examples
 isolation when people are old.
To sum up
, having
children
 later in the past is caused by the changes of eras and it affects negatively the general
society
 and particular personal
life
.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on providing clearer topic sentences to ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
task achievement
Include more detailed specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your points further to enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and gives an outline of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both reasons and effects as asked in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: