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Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram below shows the life cycle of the Monarch butterfly. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram below shows the life cycle of the Monarch butterfly. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #life #cycle #monarch #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The supplied process indicates how a Monarch butterfly is born and converted to
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
 one during its life.
Overall
,there are several stages in
butterfly's
Correct article usage
a butterfly's
show examples
 life cycle,starting from eggs on milkweed and finishing with mating and
egg
 laying.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the life cycle of
Monarch
Correct article usage
the Monarch
show examples
 butterfly has three main stages.(
Egg
stage
,Pupal
stage
 and
Adult
stage
). First of all,the eggs are laid on a leaf in the
egg
stage
 and they are left for about fourteen days so that they can grow.The second step is that the new larva is hatched after fourteen days.Once the caterpillar is created on milkweed,it is
then
 attached from
larva
Correct article usage
the larva
show examples
 vertically.
Following
this
,the attachment larva is transformed into
chrysalis
Correct article usage
a chrysalis
show examples
 which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
takes ten days.In
this
 case,the
egg
stage
 is accomplished and the pupal
stage
 is initiated.
The next step is
 that the chrysalis comes out from its cocoon.At
this
 time the emergence of
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
is happened
Change to the active voice
happens
show examples
 and the
adult
 butterfly migrates to the south for six months.After that,the
adult
stage
 is started and the
adult
 butterfly moves to the north.The final step is that the butterflies mate together in order to lay their eggs for
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adult, egg, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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