IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

write a letter to the airport manager that you missed for your business trip because of a problem that occured at the airport. Explain -what was the problem. -What happened as a result of the missed flight -What would you like him or her to do about it.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring your attention towards an unfortunate incident that occurred with me at your
airport
Use synonyms
. On September 1, 2024, I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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booked a
flight
Use synonyms
 from Toronto
airport
Use synonyms
 to Vancouver
airport
Use synonyms
 at 10:00 am. Despite being on time, I missed my
flight
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 some faulty procedures
of
Change preposition
by
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 the
airport
Use synonyms
 authorities. I was about to board my plane but suddenly security guards arrived there and asked me to follow them for
investigation
Correct article usage
an investigation
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. I was relentlessly shocked and confused because I was sure I never did anything wrong,
still
Add a comma
still,
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 I cooperated and decided to go with them.
However
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, they made a mistake as they were required to approach someone else.
As a result
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, I missed my
flight
Use synonyms
 and I immediately informed my team members to continue with
meeting
Add an article
the meeting
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 because I would not be able to arrive on time.
Thus
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, I ended up losing the chance of promotion
along with
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 that my boss got upset with me and I was
also
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 extremely disgruntled. I suffered from a great loss and I would be obliged if it is possible for me to board another
flight
Use synonyms
 on September 10, any time during the evening at no cost.
Besides
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, it was the mistake of
airport
Use synonyms
 authorities,
hence
Linking Words
, they need to be extra careful
while
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 taking
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 to avoid any inconvenience to the passengers. I hope you will take
this
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 issue into consideration.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 sincerely, Navneet Kaur.

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coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring a more coherent logical flow throughout the letter. Try to link sentences and ideas smoothly to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your response more clearly by having distinct paragraphs for the problem faced, its consequences, and your request. This helps in presenting your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Try to be clear and concise in your explanation. Although your response is complete, tightening some parts would make your letter more effective.
task achievement
You have appropriately included all the necessary parts of the task: explaining the problem, the consequences, and what you would like to be done about it.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are well-formulated and suitable for a formal letter.
task achievement
You maintained a suitable writing tone throughout the letter, which is essential for formal communication.
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