IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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There is an opinion that believes in the positive impact of technology, especially in relation to the connection among
people
Use synonyms
, but there is
also
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 an outcry over the ability of technology to leave
people
Use synonyms
 more separate. In
this
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 essay, I will explore both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 and I will offer my opinion. Over the past years, there has been a growing use of applications like
whatssapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
, telegram or
signal
Capitalize word
Signal
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 that has produced an expansion of communication via text messages.
However
Linking Words
, what has changed the perception of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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relationships is certainly the incursion of social networks. These platforms have given the possibility to
milion
Correct your spelling
millions
 of
people
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 to stay in contact by using different types of communication spreading from the post, to the comment,
till
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to
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 the private chat. Applications like Facebook,
Instagram
Correct word choice
and Instagram
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 allowed everyone to be constantly visible by staying at home.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 new trend has more and more neglected the idea of seeing each other.
If on
Correct word choice
On
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 one side, all these options have enlarged the opportunities to keep conversations alive with many
people
Use synonyms
 and at the same time, it is
also
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 true that the particular condition they entail prevents
people
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to spend
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from spending
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 time together. Especially the older generations suffer from
this
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 shift of perspective which provokes extremely harmful
misunderstanding
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misunderstandings
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 in families. They are not only behind in the use of
such
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 devices, but
also
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 they cannot understand the constant presence of the cellphone within the
life
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lives
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 of their relatives. In conclusion,
although
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 new technologies have accelerated and expanded our circles it is
also
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 true that they have created a generational gap. In my opinion, we should find a balance. Sometimes, the privacy that a chat or a social network offers can create boundaries or isolation to the detriment of the old style
communication
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of communication
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.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines both viewpoints and provides a roadmap for your essay. This will strengthen your introduction and help readers understand what to expect.
relevant specific examples
Expand on the examples and provide more specific instances that illustrate each viewpoint. This will make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
logical structure
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly and logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
The essay addresses both viewpoints clearly, providing a balanced discussion.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided, such as social media platforms and generational differences, are relevant to the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the discussion and provides a personal opinion, which is essential for this type of essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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