IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities

#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The bar chart provides information about people's
bought
Verb problem
apply
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coffee
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 and tea drinking habits in 5 Australian urban centres. In general, there are 3 different indicators with several leaders. But 3 cities have the same results. They are
Hobart
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, Sydney and Melbourne. People who bought fresh
coffee
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks in Brisbane and Adelaide did the same with almost 35%.
Hobart
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 overcame them only for 4-5%. But the only towns that reached 40% in buying fresh
coffee
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 are Sydney and Melbourne; they have 44% and 42%. The second index is buying instant
coffee
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, and
Hobart
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 and Brisbane have similar performance with just over a half. Other urban places have results between 45% and exactly half. There are
last
Linking Words
 exponentials: humans who went to a cafe for
coffee
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 or tea in 4 weeks.
Hobart
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, Sydney and Melbourne overwent 60%. Adelaide has the worst performance with almost 50% and Brisbane has 56%.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Try to avoid using vague words such as 'urban centres'. Instead, name the cities as done later in the text.
task achievement
Ensure consistency in data reporting; for example, you mention 'almost 35%' but in other instances give more precise percentages.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down complex sentences to improve readability. For instance, 'People who bought fresh coffee in the last 4 weeks in Brisbane and Adelaide did the same with almost 35%' can be divided for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Provide a summary or a concluding sentence to wrap up the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay covers all the primary data points from the chart.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of information is maintained, moving from one indicator to the next smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Using specific percentages and direct comparisons makes your analysis clear and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
What to do next:
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