Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Many blame that it is
supermarket's
Correct article usage
the supermarket's
show examples
and
manufacture's
Replace the word
manufacturer's
show examples
responsibility
to minimize unnecessary packaging on products. But on
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, some argue that it is
i
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
the buyer's
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
to do so. I believe
consumer
Add an article
the consumer
show examples
has the most
responsibility
towards reducing environmentally non-friendly packaging. Given the current fierce competition in the market,it is inevitable that suppliers tend to make their products
eye- catchy
Correct your spelling
eye-catchy
show examples
with many redundant wrappings in order to increase the chances of catching the eye of the customers among similar varieties of goods.
Hence
this
has become a norm nowadays which
consequently
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
show examples
environmental
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
.
Hence
the manufacturers
also
have an obligation towards
this
concern and need to take immediate actions to break
such
patterns.
For instance
, recently, major retail companies
such
as Adidas,
Nike
Correct word choice
and Nike
show examples
have moved to minimal and eco-friendly product manufacturing and distribution.
On the other hand
,
customer
Correct article usage
the customer
show examples
has the upper hand towards eliminating said matter. Consumers can omit or reduce buying products with environmentally catastrophic wrapping by opting for non-wrapped or less wrapped goods.
This
simple
gesteld
Correct your spelling
gesture
can make awareness and inspire all relevant entities to minimize the use of unnecessary wraps. Citizens of countries
such
as Sweden
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been able to force the government to impose taxes on different environmentally catastrophic wrapping materials proving that the consumers have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher
responsibility
towards minimizing the amount of packaging used. In conclusion, I believe it is our sole
responsibility
as individual
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
to act whenever possible to make awareness and to force relevant entities to take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
.
Submitted by hashkweerasekara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion. However, your support for each view can be more detailed. For example, elaborating on how manufacturers might implement changes could provide a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some sentences can be clearer and more concise. Avoid awkward phrasing like 'this simple gesteld' and ensure grammatical correctness.
structure
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay, which frames your discussion well.
task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives on the topic, demonstrating a balanced approach.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: