Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others believe that there are better ways to show that we care about them. *Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#*some #people #gifts #friends #show #care #*discuss

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Giving

gifts

Use synonyms

and presents are the representatives of our

care

Use synonyms

and love to friends and family.

However

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

believe that there are other things that we can do in order to show our concern about them.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both ideas with detailed reasons and why I agree that other ways are fundamental .

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is widely accepted that buying

gifts

Use synonyms

and presents

are indicate

Wrong verb form

indicates

show examples

Use synonyms

care

Correct article usage

the care

show examples

of someone.

This

Linking Words

is a common culture that plays a significant role in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

birthdays, rituals,and some crucial events.

For example

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

birthdays,

people

Use synonyms

often buy presents to inform

about

Correct pronoun usage

them about

show examples

their

kindhearted

Replace the word

kindheartedness

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, in some religions

such

Linking Words

as Yom Kippur in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Judaism or Ashura in Islam,

people

Use synonyms

are giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

gifts

Use synonyms

to each other to celebrate it. These are proper illustrations of

importance

Add an article

the importance

show examples

of buying

gifts

Use synonyms

and presents to connect

people

Use synonyms

in society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are other ways to prove our

care

Use synonyms

about someone. Communicating sincerely and trying to understand their problems could be an effective way to proclaim our emotions.

This

Linking Words

is vitality significant because we as humans need someone in our bad

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

rather than good times. Not only

acknowledged

Wrong verb form

acknowledging

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their struggles

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

helping them to overcome their issues could be an enthusiastic way that may have a permanent effect on them.

For instance

Linking Words

, my uncle helped me to learn English at a very young age, which has had a profound impact on my career.

Therefore

Linking Words

, personally, I would agree that other ways are more essential than just buying

gifts

Use synonyms

to reveal our

care

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

, buying

gifts

Use synonyms

and presents are integral part of global culture to depict our

care

Use synonyms

and love.

However

Linking Words

assist

Wrong verb form

assisting

show examples

individuals

Change preposition

with

show examples

their obstacles

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more valuable

to demonstrate

Change preposition

than demonstrating

show examples

our

care

Use synonyms

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Wed Sep 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure that every paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Try using more transition phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'In addition.' This will improve the overall readability of your essay.

task achievement

For task achievement, ensure that you've clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Try to elaborate more on how different actions (other than giving gifts) show care and provide additional examples.

task achievement

You've successfully discussed both views and provided a clear opinion, which fulfills the task requirement well.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as religious practices and personal anecdotes, strengthens your points and makes your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument and providing a sense of completeness.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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*Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others believe that there are better ways to show that we care about them.* *Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The gender gap in employment and leadership roles is a contentious issue. Discuss the reasons for this gap and potential solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

nowdays, many people choose to be self- employes, rather than to work for a company or organaisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others believe that there are better ways to show that we care about them. *Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.