You have been working with your company for two years and are interested in a promotion. Write a letter to your direct boss. In your letter: · Explain your varied achievements over the past two years · Express your interest in growing with the company · Ask for a meeting to discuss a potential promotion

#company #two #years #promotion #boss #achievements #interest

Hello Brad, I am writing

this

letter to show my interest in the job opening for the role of Supervisor which

have been

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

posted on the company's website

last

night. My name is Simran and I have been working with the company

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

two years in the sales department.

Last

month, only I

have been

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

awarded

with

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the 100% attendance award. Because of my

achievements

Add a comma

achievements,

show examples

I have been awarded as employee of the year for the 2023 annual year.

Moreover

, I was one of the employees who went for the international presentation which was held in Mumbai, India.

Furthermore

, I am very excited to grow up in the corporate. I have already applied for the position online the very moment I saw the job posting. Well, working for the company is like a dream come true for me and I would like to grow to keep myself motivated. If possible, could you please take

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some time from your very busy next week's schedule to discuss the promotion

Change the punctuation

show examples

Thank you so much for your time. Eagerly waiting for your response. Yours sincerely, Simran.

Submitted by kaur75971 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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grammar

Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors, such as 'have been posted' which should be 'was posted' and 'from last two years' should be 'for the last two years.'

coherence

The logical structure is clear, but try enhancing the flow between paragraphs to make the reading experience smoother.

task response

Providing specific achievements like sales targets or other quantifiable successes can add more weight to your request.

task response

You've clearly outlined your achievements and expressed your interest in growing with the company, which aligns well with the task requirements.

suitable writing tone

The letter has a polite and respectful tone, appropriate for a professional setting.

greeting and closing

The closing and greeting are well-crafted and polite, enhancing the overall professional tone.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

184 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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