IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people use distance learning programmes to study at home, but others think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #distance #programmes #study #home #college #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With technological advancements learning has not been restricted to classes only. There are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people who think that
distance
 learning is not a good option.
According to
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my
Correct your spelling
perspective
prespective
Add a comma
prespective,
show examples
 both methods have their own pros which will be discussed in the
impending
Correct word choice
coming
show examples
 paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are numerous benefits of traditional
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
 of learning.
As it
Correct word choice
It
show examples
 gives
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
, the required exposure to the outside world when kids come out of the comfort of their homes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
. It gives them the needed courage to talk in public and to develop social skills
such
 as making friends, being polite, cooperating with other peers etc.
Moreover
, it helps to boost
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 in the minors when they are made to speak in the class for presentations or answering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
queries. On the flip side,
distance
 learning
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to take some
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 which is not available near their residential area.
For instance
, if someone wants to learn web
designing
Replace the word
design
show examples
 from Harward but they are not able to make the commute because of immigration reasons or something else
then
distance
 learning seems to be the only option. To add more, it is not only comfortable but
also
 saves travelling time and cost as
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 does not have to move out of their homes. The only thing they need is
working
Correct article usage
a working
show examples
 computer with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good internet service.
To conclude
, I agree partially with the statement which says that
distance
 learning is not as beneficial as classroom learning as
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 one is comfortable
while
 the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 one increases the
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 required to face the world in the future.
Submitted by kaur75971 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Although your essay addresses the prompt adequately, there are areas that need improvement. Ensure your ideas are logically organized and clearly expressed. Try to elaborate more on some points for a better understanding.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are awkwardly structured or unclear. Aim for smoother transitions and clearer topic sentences. Use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good job including both an introduction and a conclusion. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Your essay presents relevant points and examples to support your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-learning
  • Virtual classroom
  • Self-paced learning
  • Asynchronous/synchronous sessions
  • Digital divide
  • Interactive learning
  • Accreditation
  • Webinar
  • MOOC (Massive Open Online Courses)
  • Pedagogy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: