Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, sports are very popular on TV, or
in
social media and a part of Change preposition
on
best
athletes Correct article usage
the best
became
Verb problem
have
also
influencer
, so the majority of younger Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
imitates
or Correct subject-verb agreement
imitate
learns
about pro behaviour, and it is argued, that are good Correct subject-verb agreement
learn
figure
who teenagers must expire Fix the agreement mistake
figures
on
them, because they have healthy lives Change preposition
apply
while
there is another statement that they mustn't be consider real models for common lives because what they do is drastic. In this
essay, I want to explain my opinion, recognising their important role in this
modern age.
Players of every sport have a diet program that they must respect and also
a personal trainer who helps them with gym
schedule thanks Correct pronoun usage
their gym
this
behaviour they can improve Change preposition
to this
physical
performances and Correct pronoun usage
their physical
also
maintain high standards. So using social media, such
as Instagram,Facebook and TikTok athletes can teach healty
tips for common life to reduce fat or, in general, to take care of Correct your spelling
healthy
health
own
body Correct pronoun usage
their own
that
is very important to prevent Correct pronoun usage
which
pains
Fix the agreement mistake
pain
,
or diseases.
Remove the comma
apply
However
, sometimes the messages that they sent
maybe should be Wrong verb form
send
misunderstanded
because they Correct your spelling
misunderstood
shared
their schedules that are extreme and Wrong verb form
share
a
fun, who sees them, tries to imitate perfectly what is described in them, so it can become more dangerous for the Remove the article
apply
youngers'
behaviour causingCorrect your spelling
younger'
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
for example
eating disorders.
In conclusion, there are different thoughts about the role of sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
professionists
for teenagers, I think that Correct your spelling
professionals
are
positive figures and Correct pronoun usage
these are
also
the benfits
that we can take Correct your spelling
benefits
by
these models Change preposition
from
overtake
the Verb problem
outweigh
disvantages
.Correct your spelling
disadvantages
Submitted by matteosolito03 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention specific athletes who have positively influenced young people, or cite instances where following an athlete's extreme regimen led to negative consequences among youth.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
language
Pay closer attention to grammar and spelling. Watch for errors such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'A fun, who sees them, tries' should be 'A fan, who sees them, tries'), word choice (e.g., 'professionists' should be 'professionals'), and typos (e.g., 'healhty' for 'healthy').
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective which strengthens your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, setting the stage for your discussion and summarizing your viewpoint effectively.
language
You've used a varied vocabulary which keeps the reader engaged and shows a strong command of English.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!