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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#british #emigration #destinations #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart depicts British Emigration to
chosen
Correct article usage
a chosen
show examples
 destination in four years
started in
Verb problem
from
show examples
 2004 to 2007.
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
, Australia was the most popular country where it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 selected but had the
fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
number
 followed by USA and France.
while
 Spain and New
Zealend
Correct your spelling
Zealand
 tended to decrease.
Autralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 tended to be fluctuated
number
 which had around 42
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 people in 2004, decreased
Change preposition
to
show examples
under 40 thousand in 2005, increased sharply in 2005 which had more than 50
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
, and decreased to around 45
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in 2007. Spain and New Zealand had the same trend. in 2004
these country
Change the determiner
this country
these countries
show examples
 had the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
number
 around 35 and 25 Thousand respectively.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 the
last
 year, Spain got below 30 and New
Zealend
Correct your spelling
Zealand
 fit to 20
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
. Different
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, France got the highest
number
 in 2007 it was around 33 Thousand,
while
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in 2005
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest
number
 which was only just under 20
Thousands
Change to singular
Thousand
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, thousands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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