In today’s society, both Western medicine and traditional complementary forms of medicines’ are now widely known and used. The effectiveness of these kinds of treatment is determined by the patient’s mental attitude towards it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

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In today’s society, both Western
medicine
and traditional complementary
forms
of
medicines
Fix the agreement mistake
medicine
show examples
’ are now widely known and used. The
effectiveness
of these kinds of treatment is determined by the patient’s mental attitude towards it.
While
there are many disciplines of
medicine
,
western Allopathic
Correct your spelling
Western allopathic
show examples
medicine
continues to be
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
popular in comparison to traditional
forms
. It is agreed that patient's mental
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
play a significant factor in what type of
medicine
they ultimately choose to undergo.
This
essay will look at public perception towards both
forms
of
medicine
and their perceived
effectiveness
.
Firstly
,
effectiveness
Add an article
the effectiveness
show examples
of
allopatic
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allopathic
medicine
have
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has
show examples
been extensively studied.
For example
- there are decades worth of
well documented
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well-documented
show examples
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
on the
beneficts
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benefits
,
side-effects
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side effects
show examples
and contraindications of these medications.
Secondly
,
tranditional
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traditional
forms
of
medicine
like
ayurvedha
Correct your spelling
ayurveda
while
they may be
beneifical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
have not been
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
researched.
Furthermore
, every country has their own version
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
traditional
medicine
.
For instance
,
india
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India
show examples
has
ayurvedha
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Ayurvedha
show examples
while
a country like
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
has
accupuncture
Correct your spelling
acupuncture
. There
widespread
Add a missing verb
is widespread
show examples
debate in the medical community regarding the
effectiveness
of these
forms
of treatment.
This
could be one of the key factors influencing
wide spread
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widespread
show examples
adoption of allopathy.
Conversly
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Conversely
, there are many diseases that western medications have no effective treatment for. An example of
this
could be certain
forms
of cancer. An objective
non biased
Add a hyphen
non-biased
show examples
research can be carried out by scientists on the
effectiveness
of these traditional
forms
in curing these conditions. The results of which can be published in medical journals.
Additionally
, documentaries can be filmed, articles can be written which can in turn be released to improve patient receptiveness. To summarise,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is agreed that both
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
and traditional medication
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a crucial role to play in patient
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
.
Through research
Change preposition
Research
show examples
needs to be conducted on
effectiveness
Add an article
the effectiveness
show examples
of traditional medications before more widespread adoption.
Submitted by naveengeorge95 on

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task achievement
While this essay does present a clear perspective, it could benefit from more detailed support and analysis of the main points. Consider adding more specific examples and expanding on how mental attitude directly influences the effectiveness of different treatments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Ensuring each paragraph logically connects to the next will make the argument more cohesive and understandable.
coherence cohesion
There are multiple spelling and grammatical errors that reduce the essay's readability. Taking time to proofread and correct these mistakes would enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your work.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the tone for the essay and clearly presents the topic and your stance on it. This helps the reader understand what to expect from the rest of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have effectively summarized your key points in the conclusion, providing a sense of closure to your argument. This helps reinforce your perspective and leaves a strong final impression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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