Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disgree.
Some
people
believe volunteer
work
Add a missing verb
is nacassary
nacassary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to
Change preposition
for
childrens
in their free time because there are several Correct your spelling
children
benefit
to both Change to a plural noun
benefits
teenagers
and local
community. In my Add an article
the local
opinion
I completely agree with Add a comma
opinion,
this
point.
First,
volunteer
works help
to encourage children's soft Correct subject-verb agreement
work helps
skills
. When teenagers
work
for volunteer
jobs
, they need to learn and improve their skills
, such
as communication and collaboration. Because there are a lot of people
work
in Wrong verb form
working
jobs
, children need to communicate about details
of Correct article usage
the details
jobs
and collaborate with other people
for their jobs
successful. Therefore
, they will learn about how to development
their communication and Replace the word
develop
work
with nomurouse
Correct your spelling
numerous
people
which
they Correct pronoun usage
whom
unknown
before. It Add a missing verb
were unknown
improve
their Change the verb form
improves
skills
when childrens
Correct your spelling
children
become
to socialize.
Verb problem
begin
Second,
Childrens
will know about their Correct your spelling
children
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
jobs
that encourage Change preposition
in jobs
dicision
for their careers in the future. The Correct your spelling
decisions
type
of unpaid Fix the agreement mistake
types
jobs
are various and spend short time in each jobs
. It usually Change to a singular noun
job
spend
simply 1-2 days per Verb problem
takes
jobs
. If Fix the agreement mistake
job
teenagers
attend to
various Change preposition
apply
jobs
, they will have experiences in kind
of Correct article usage
the kind
jobs
which
they Change preposition
in which
works
. Change the verb form
work
For example
, if teenagers
attend to
Fix the infinitive
apply
volunteer
events, they need to manage any tasks of events. That make
them known about their interest in management Change the verb form
makes
skills
. If they don't match in management
job, they can trial Add an article
a management
work
in other jobs
. Therefore
,teenagers
will known
what kind of Change the verb form
be known
know
jobs
they Add a missing verb
are interest
interest
Replace the word
interested
.
Because they have Change preposition
in.
any
Correct determiner usage
no
experienced
in Change the form of the verb
experience
jobs
, It easier
for them to Add a missing verb
is easier
dicision
Correct your spelling
decide
about
careers or departments Change preposition
on
in
Change preposition
at
university
.
In conclusion, I think Add an article
the university
teenagers
should work
volunteers
in their free time because It Change preposition
as volunteers
help
to improve their soft Change the verb form
helps
skills
when they become
to Verb problem
begin
work
in socialize and make them known
about Wrong verb form
know
direction
Add an article
the direction
in
their Change preposition
of
jobs
in the future.Submitted by jeebjib14 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and supported with clear, specific examples. For example, provide more detailed illustrations of how volunteering can help develop specific soft skills.
task achievement
Pay attention to consistency in vocabulary and expressions. For example, use 'volunteer work' instead of 'volunteer jobs' for clarity and consistency.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. Use more varied transitional words and avoid repetitive phrases to create a smoother reading experience.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety to enhance the readability of your essay. Mixing simple, compound, and complex sentences will make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives it a good structure.
coherence cohesion
You’ve identified and supported your main points well, making your argument relatively clear.
task achievement
The examples provided, though needing more detail, effectively illustrate your points about soft skills and career decisions.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite