IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional food and traditional ways of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#convenience #foods #food #preparation
There are beliefs, that processed foods will grow in popularity so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will substitute both traditional cuisine and its cooking process.
This
 trend is easily agreeable
with
Change preposition
apply
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, because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenience
food
 is cheaper and half-cooked, as it saves up a lot of money and
time
 for the end consumers respectively. Preliminary cooked dishes play a significant role in
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
 of
people
, who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 in need of money, as they cost less than traditional
food
. Because convenience
food
 is made in factories by automated machines, its mass production drastically decreases the price of one.
Furthermore
, the number of
people
, required to operate the factories, is comparably lower,
measuring
Change the form of the verb
measured
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 by the amount of
food
 they can produce in
shorter
Add an article
a shorter
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 period of
time
, which is another price-reducing factor.
As a result
, many
people
 have a preference to purchase rather cheap processed
food
, than go
a
Change preposition
to a
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restaurant or buy expensive natural goods. Half-cooked
food
 contributes to
freeing
Correct article usage
the freeing
show examples
 of
human’s
Change noun form
human
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time
 in a positive way. Since the factory machines have already done all the preparation of the meal, it takes minutes for the individuals to finish the process by microwaving it. Compared to that, traditional ways of cooking may take hours, which is not applicable to
people
, who spend most of their
time
 at work, which is a widespread trend in any megapolis.
Thus
,
instead
 of standing before the kitchen countertop and cooking
food
,
people
 can enjoy their free
time
, which
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
food
 way of preparation has granted them. Matter of fact, an average factory outcome is counted in a dozen pieces per
second,
which result would have never been achieved by manual cooking. In summary, processed foods are prevalent over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional cuisine, as it benefits
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
’s budgets
as well as
 their timetable
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because mass production leads to
a lower costs
Correct the article-noun agreement
lower costs
a lower cost
show examples
 of
such
 and
also
 does all the preparation for the client. Eventually,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity will be deprived of the need to cook traditional dishes.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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