Some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that
subjects
of mathematics
and philosophy should be an
optional subject rather than mandatory. In Correct article usage
apply
this
essay
we will Add a comma
essay,
discurs
why that Correct your spelling
discuss
subjects
should be mandatory in all schools and why changing it
to voluntary programs will be harmful for the students.
Correct pronoun usage
them
Firstly
, mathematics
and philosophy are important subjects
to all the alumni. This
is because this
studies would have a great impact Correct determiner usage
these
in
the future formation of Change preposition
on
that
children. Correct determiner usage
those
For example
, mathematics
are
critical in a vast Correct subject-verb agreement
is
ammount
of fields, like architecture or biology. Correct your spelling
amount
Thus
making it crucial to learn at young ages.
Secondly
, if that
Change the determiner
those
subjects
become optional, a lot of students will choose another more affordable branch of study, like music or religion. As a consequence
, this
will result in an enormous amount of alumni that can not enlist in some of the most critical degrees that uses
Change the verb form
use
mathematics
or pholosophy
. A Correct your spelling
philosophy
clasical
example of that Correct your spelling
classical
classic
will be
the scientific degrees. Almost all of Wrong verb form
is
this
degrees Correct determiner usage
these
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
mathematics
, making Correct pronoun usage
it imposible
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
to
Change preposition
for
the
students to get into without good Correct article usage
apply
knowledgment
of Correct your spelling
knowledge
mathematics
.
In conclusion, making the
hard disciplines Correct article usage
apply
such
as mathematics
an optional choose
and not a mandatory subject for education will harm the future of the Replace the word
choice
youngs
and, Correct your spelling
young
as a result
, in the future they will see their options reduced because of that.Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but could benefit from clearer, more comprehensive ideas. Ensure each point is fully developed to solidify your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through your essay.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples to illustrate main points. Adding detailed, relevant examples would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Watch for small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. More polished language can enhance clarity and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has successfully included an introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
You have made an effort to present points for discussion, such as the importance of mathematics in various fields and the consequences of making it optional.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?