Some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #subjects #mathematics #philosophy #people

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Some people argue that

subjects

mathematics

and philosophy should be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

optional subject rather than mandatory. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will

discurs

Correct your spelling

discuss

why that

subjects

should be mandatory in all schools and why changing

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

to voluntary programs will be harmful for the students.

Firstly

mathematics

and philosophy are important

subjects

to all the alumni.

This

is because

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

studies would have a great impact

Change preposition

show examples

the future formation of

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

children.

For example

mathematics

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

critical in a vast

ammount

Correct your spelling

amount

of fields, like architecture or biology.

Thus

making it crucial to learn at young ages.

Secondly

, if

that

Change the determiner

those

show examples

subjects

become optional, a lot of students will choose another more affordable branch of study, like music or religion.

As a consequence

this

will result in an enormous amount of alumni that can not enlist in some of the most critical degrees that

uses

Change the verb form

use

show examples

mathematics

pholosophy

Correct your spelling

philosophy

. A

clasical

Correct your spelling

classical

classic

example of that

will be

Wrong verb form

show examples

the scientific degrees. Almost all of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

degrees

uses

Correct subject-verb agreement

use

show examples

mathematics

, making

Correct pronoun usage

it imposible

show examples

imposible

Correct your spelling

impossible

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students to get into without good

knowledgment

Correct your spelling

knowledge

mathematics

. In conclusion, making

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard disciplines

such

mathematics

an optional

choose

Replace the word

choice

show examples

and not a mandatory subject for education will harm the future of the

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

and,

as a result

, in the future they will see their options reduced because of that.

Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on Thu Sep 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt but could benefit from clearer, more comprehensive ideas. Ensure each point is fully developed to solidify your argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through your essay.

task achievement

The essay lacks specific examples to illustrate main points. Adding detailed, relevant examples would strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Watch for small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. More polished language can enhance clarity and make your argument more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The essay has successfully included an introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-rounded argument.

task achievement

You have made an effort to present points for discussion, such as the importance of mathematics in various fields and the consequences of making it optional.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

219 words

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Some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?

There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers

Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?