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Band 5.5

The table below shows the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Both charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the
number
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 of
research
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students
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 from many universities in Australia between 2001 and 2010. But, these charts depict some different
informations
Correct your spelling
information
. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 additional
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 on the pie chart,
such
Linking Words
 as local male, local female, non-local male, and non-local female of
research
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students
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.
On
Change preposition
According to
show examples
 the table, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 33.657
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
research
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students
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 in 2001. In the same year, the
number
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 of international
students
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 who did the
research
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are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 around 5.192.
In other words
Linking Words
, the total of
research
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students
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 in 2001
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 38.849. In 2010, both
number
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 was increased. Respectively, local
research
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students
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 are 39.488 and international
research
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students
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 are 14.593. The total
number
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 sharply jump to 54.081. The pie chart gives data, in 2001, 13 per
cent
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
globally
Change the word
global
show examples
research
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 fellows,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 the rest
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 local
research
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students
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. Following the table, in 2010, the percentage was highly rise. The international
students
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 who do the
research
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 became 27 per
cent
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 and 73 per
cent
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 was still dominated by the local
students
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. In 2001, the local male who participated in
research
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 was 44 per
cent
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 and the percentage
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 non-local
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 was only 4 per
cent
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of local
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 was big which was 43 per
cent
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.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, the participation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-local
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 was about 9 per
cent
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. In 2010, the
number
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 of local
male
Change to a plural noun
males
show examples
 was approximately 38 per
cent
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.
Instead
Linking Words
, non-local
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 dramatically up to 12 per
cent
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. The total amount of local
female
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females
show examples
also
Linking Words
 decreased to 35 per
cent
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 and non-local
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 was 15 per
cent
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.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, research, students, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "informations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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