IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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the line graph
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 compares
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of 4 different recycled materials,
paper
Use synonyms
 and
cardboard
Use synonyms
,
glass
Use synonyms
 containers, aluminium cans and plastics over a 28-year period between 1982 and 2010.
Paper
Use synonyms
 and
cardboard
Use synonyms
 got the first rank in the recycling
rate
Use synonyms
. after that in the second and third place,
glass
Use synonyms
 containers and aluminium cans respectively placed
while
Linking Words
 with significant gap plastic items took the
last
Linking Words
 place. In 1982,
paper
Use synonyms
 and
cardboard
Use synonyms
 with approximately 65%
rate
Use synonyms
 had the
most
Correct word choice
highest
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 percentage among the others. After 12 years,
paper
Use synonyms
 and
cardboard
Use synonyms
 peaked at 80% proportion, but
glass
Use synonyms
 containers had a fluctuating
rate
Use synonyms
, it started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 50% and went down but
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the 12-year period, it had the same
rate
Use synonyms
 as it started.
although
Linking Words
paper
Use synonyms
 recycling showed
downward
Add an article
a downward
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 trend between 1994 to 2010,
Use synonyms
glass
Correct article usage
the glass
show examples
 container
rate
Use synonyms
 steadily increased. That means
glass
Use synonyms
container
Fix the agreement mistake
containers
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 finished at 60%
while
Linking Words
paper
Use synonyms
 ended up with 70% of
recycling
Correct article usage
the recycling
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the aluminium cans recycling
rate
Use synonyms
 had
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 trend which means started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 5% and after 22 years reached 45%, plastic remained relatively steady between 1990 and 2010 with
small
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a small
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 increase from 4% to 8%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words paper, cardboard, glass, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • increased
  • paper and cardboard
  • plastic
  • glass
  • metal
  • significant increase
  • relatively stable
  • fluctuating
  • period
  • starting
  • reaching
  • gradually increasing
  • remained low
  • experienced
  • showed
  • greatest
  • proportion
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