Travelling abroad is a common trend nowadays for different reasons.This essay will discuss two main reasons for this cause and point out the negative impacts that would have on Society. Reason : Employment opportunities and Lifestyle Negative Impact : Getting expensive and competion in job market
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Nowadays,
people
are travelling to foreign nations
for many reasons . The two main reasons for this
cause are employment opportunities and lifestyle
of other Correct article usage
the lifestyle
countries
. However
, there are some demerits too such
as it rises to competition in the job
market and things are getting expensive due to
migration.
The first main reason for this
cause are
better employment opportunities, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
move to other nations
in order to get better employment which has similar education but better salary associated with a large number of benefits like job
security , dental coverage and life insurance. The second main reason for this
cause is that travelling lead
Change the verb form
leads
people
to explore lifestyle
of other Add an article
the lifestyle
countries
.In other words
, people
explore other cultures and adapt
them because travellers like the healthy environment of other Correct your spelling
adopt
nations
. For example
, many people
from India moving to Canada because Canada has a better lifestyle
in a case of healthy
environment like Correct article usage
a healthy
Correct article usage
a pollution
pollution free
environment and Add a hyphen
pollution-free
woman
are more independent as compared to Indian culture.
Fix the agreement mistake
women
However
, there are two main demerits. Primary, the things are getting expensive due to
travelling. Most of the restaurants increase their prices of food because people
are coming more to buy from those places as well
as
housing rates Correct word choice
and
are
doubled because a large number of Verb problem
have
people
shows
interest in Wrong verb form
showed
settle
down in other Wrong verb form
settling
countries
which makes hard
for Correct pronoun usage
it hard
people
to buy house
at affordable rate. Fix the agreement mistake
houses
Secondary
, If a large Replace the word
Secondly
amount
of Change the quantifier
number
people
migrate to other nations
for better job
opportunities then
it rise
Change the verb form
rises
to
Change preposition
apply
competitions
among individuals which would increase Fix the agreement mistake
competition
unemployment
rate. Add an article
the unemployment
For example
, in BC,Canada , there are lots of people
who are unemployed due to
high
rate of competition between Correct article usage
the high
people
.
In conclusion, people
are travelling to foreign countries
nowadays and the two main reasons causing this
movement are better job
options and better
Correct article usage
a better
lifestyle
. However
, some drawbacks of this
movements
are that things are hard to afford and high Fix the agreement mistake
movement
competion
in the Correct your spelling
competition
job
market.Submitted by kmlchahal97 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. For example, more elaboration on how job security, dental coverage, and life insurance benefit individuals could strengthen your first point.
task achievement
Try to provide more in-depth and varied examples to support your points. For instance, you mentioned Canada but adding another example may provide more richness to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
task achievement
You addressed both the reasons people are traveling abroad and the negative impacts, achieving a balanced response to the prompt.