Some people say that getting to Universities is the sole way to get success while others say that it depends on the other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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The question of whether or not attending
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the only pathway to
achievement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has sparked sizeable debate.
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a few argue that
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
college schooling is crucial for achieving
achievement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, others contend that various factors make a contribution to an individual’s accomplishments.
on
Change preposition
In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
will explore both perspectives and provide an explanation for why I agree
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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that
success
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is influenced via
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word aggregate.

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aggregate of schooling, personal attributes, and outside occasions. Proponents of the view that college education is critical for
achievement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

frequently factor
to
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the increasing needs of the task market. Many professions require superior levels, and employers often prioritize applicants with higher schooling credentials. In fields inclusive of medicinal
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs

It seems that drug may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, regulation, and engineering, a
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

degree is not just beneficial
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

however
Correct word choice
but

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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important.
moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, universities offer valuable talents, expertise, and networking opportunities which can decorate
profession
Replace the word
professional

The word profession doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
prospects.
Conversely
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, numerous
a
Replace the word
successful

The word a success doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
success
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

individuals have finished their desires
with out
Correct your spelling
without

The word with out seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
attending
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

highlights that
success
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

isn't totally determined by means of formal training. factors including entrepreneurial spirit, sensible experience, and determination regularly play massive roles in accomplishing
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment

The spelling of fulfillment is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
.
moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, vocational schooling and apprenticeships can provide people with the skills needed for specific careers, every so often leading to outcomes that rival the ones of
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

graduates. In conclusion, whilst
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

schooling may be a valuable asset, it isn't the only course to
achievement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A mixture of training, non-public characteristics, and external factors
make contributions
Verb problem
contribute

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
to an individual's achievements, underscoring the diversity of paths to
success
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Submitted by albaraaalsufyani3 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph has clear and specific examples to substantiate your points. This will make your arguments more robust and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to capitalization and punctuation. For instance, 'while' at the beginning should be capitalized, and proper nouns like 'University' should also be capitalized consistently.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the topic, demonstrating clear and comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, contributing to a logical and coherent structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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