Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier stage. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?
#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #stage #type #benefit
Nowadays, old-age pension is determined at a pre-defined period by the
law making
authorities. Add a hyphen
law-making
However
, many people opine that it is completely injustice to set equal retirement period
for all professions without considering the work. Fix the agreement mistake
periods
According to
them, some employees need early pensions. I completely agree with them as this
essay will shed some light on the reasons behind my thought.
To Commence with, there are many occupations which costs
workers more Change the verb form
cost
time
, liberty, physical stamina and mental health to enjoy their time
with their family and themselves as well. In such
, situations early superannuation provides them great relief to spend time
with their near ones. For example
, an army man who dedicated whole
life Correct pronoun usage
his whole
for
his country is not able to find Change preposition
to
time
for personal
life because of the tough Correct pronoun usage
his personal
time
required by his Job. Fix the agreement mistake
times
Thus
,retirement check
at an Fix the agreement mistake
checks
Correct your spelling
early
earty
stage can
give him Correct your spelling
early
timefor
private life. Correct your spelling
time for
Besides
that, there are many manual labour jobs like construction and emergency jobs; all require a person to be physically fit and in situation
of ready to act, which Add an article
the situation
a situation
can-not
be Correct your spelling
cannot
perfarmed
by a senior person. So, they need early benefits.
Correct your spelling
performed
Moreover
, it is also
advantageous for the
people who are working Correct article usage
apply
for
high-stress jobs. Change preposition
in
For instance
, healthcare workers who involved
in Add a missing verb
are involved
high risk
environmentsAdd a hyphen
high-risk
,
may benefit from early retirement Remove the comma
apply
due to
burnout and psychologica
strain. Correct your spelling
psychological
Additionally
, persons with serious health-related issues can also
get
advantage of this
schemeas
they should be included in the list of eligible persons.
Correct your spelling
scheme as
schemes
scheme
To Conclude
, I would like to restate that the regime should make proper rules for the aforesaid categories of occupations in order to ensure the interests of people working in those sectors. Therefore
, I agree with the question that some employees deserve pension funding at an early stage.Submitted by lakhykharoud.lk on
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grammar
Proofread your essay to fix minor grammar and punctuation errors.
examples
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structure
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response
Your essay addresses the task with clear and relevant ideas and examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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