In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after the birth of the newborn. Do you think the advantages of maternity leave outweigh the disadvantages?

Recently, the law
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
the ladies to take a leave after delivering the
baby
.
While
part of society thinks it is worthwhile
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
others do not support it. In my point of view, giving leave to
women
right after giving birth to the
baby
has more advantages than disadvantages. I will support my point in the essay below.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
and foremost reason is, spending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
time
with the
baby
and taking
care
of the newborn. When the
baby
is born, he or she needs
mother's
Correct article usage
the mother's
show examples
love and
care
.
That is
a crucial
time
for both the mother and the little one to spend. If ladies will go back to
work
right after giving birth,
then
the
baby
will not get the attention and the
care
that he or she needs.
Also
,
this
can affect the growth of the
baby
in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
term. So, when the
women
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stay away from
work
, the child's upbringing will be in good hands and their relationship will
nurture
Wrong verb form
be nurtured
show examples
. The other reason is, that
women
need
time
to heal. As we all are aware, pregnancy is not an easy task. It is a long procedure which consumes a woman's body throughout the nine months. If
women
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
not go back to
work
,
instead
they will stay at home
then
they can recover properly and easily.
While
taking
care
of the
baby
, they need to take
care
of themselves too.
That is
why,
women
should prioritize themselves
instead
of
work
. In conclusion, I would say granting leave to
women
after giving birth to a child is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
very thoughtful of the law and workplaces.
This
is the
time
when a woman builds a bond with the
baby
and
introduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
introduces
show examples
him or her to the world.
Also
,
this
is when they can take
care
of themselves.
Hence
,
this
is a good break for both the babies and mothers.
Submitted by kiranbirkaur003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop your ideas with more specific examples and evidence. This will help to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more interesting and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Review your grammar and punctuation to avoid small errors that can distract the reader from your message.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-defined, helping to frame your essay nicely.
task achievement
You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas, which makes your argument easy to understand.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!