Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Recently lots of
people
do not consider hobbies during their day which have
some causes and effects. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
This
essay brings the main causes that related
to Add a missing verb
are related
life
which become rapid and technology
Replace the word
technological
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
while
the effects are plain life
and psychological issues.
The reasons imbeded
behind leaving hobbies could vary from Correct your spelling
imbedded
embedded
person
to person
, but mainly considered very similar. Life
become rapid so person
Correct article usage
a person
considered
the basic task of his day which is usually Wrong verb form
considers
the
work, Correct article usage
apply
however
, people
tend to have some liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
to consider a hobby but they become lazy
to approach doing it. Rephrase
too lazy
Furthermore
, what make
individuals unexcited Change the verb form
makes
do
specific is usually the phone. Fix the infinitive
to do
For example
, Saudi Arabian neewes
reported that the average Correct your spelling
news
time
individuals spend during the day is more than 5 hours, so people
scroll in
Change preposition
on
Instegram
or Tiktok without being aware of the Correct your spelling
Instagram
time
they spent
.
As there are many causes, the results impacted the Wrong verb form
spend
the
societies. The populations Remove the redundancy
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
the
worldwide Correct article usage
apply
considered
their Wrong verb form
consider
life
as plain because all what
they do is Correct pronoun usage
apply
working
, Wrong verb form
work
sleeping
and the Wrong verb form
sleep
cyicle
Correct your spelling
cycle
continue
. Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
For example
, before
years ago our Change preposition
apply
granparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
have not
Verb problem
had
any
technology that Correct quantifier usage
apply
make
them Verb problem
allowed
doing
Change the verb form
to do
diffrents
activities that Correct your spelling
different
makes
Verb problem
apply
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
enjoy
, Wrong verb form
enjoyed
such
as,
drawing, swimming and riding Remove the comma
apply
horse
. If there are no facilities similar to the example the individual may have some psychological issues, preventing the Fix the agreement mistake
horses
person
from living properly. Numerous academic articles pointed that
having an outlet Change preposition
out that
prevent
serious problems Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
such
as,
depression.
In Remove the comma
apply
cconclusion
, It's common nowadays that Correct your spelling
conclusion
people
tend do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
consider
a hobby to do for the reason of having no Fix the infinitive
to consider
time
and technology immensement
Correct your spelling
commencement
while
that reflect
them mentally and Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
make
them suffer.Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Submitted by noura239502 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well, but to improve task achievement, ensure you provide more examples or evidence to support your points. Ensure each point is clearly developed.
coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay better to enhance coherence and cohesion. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that your ideas flow logically. Additionally, try to avoid repetitive statements to keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and discussed the main causes and effects related to the decline in hobbies, showing a good understanding of the topic.
suitable writing tone
You've managed to maintain a suitable tone and clear language throughout the essay, making your argument easy to follow.
The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.