Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently lots of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

do not consider hobbies during their day which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
some causes and effects.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay brings the main causes that
related
Add a missing verb
are related

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
to
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which become rapid and
technology
Replace the word
technological

The word technology doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors

It seems that factor may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the effects are plain
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and psychological issues. The reasons
imbeded
Correct your spelling
imbedded
embedded

If you don’t want imbeded to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

behind leaving hobbies could vary from
person
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
person
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, but mainly considered very similar.
Life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

become rapid so
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

person
Correct article usage
a person

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
considered
Wrong verb form
considers

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb considered. Consider changing it.

show examples
the basic task of his day which is usually
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
work,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to have some
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure

If you don’t want liesure to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to consider a hobby but they become
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy

There may be an adverb issue here.

show examples
to approach doing it.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, what
make
Change the verb form
makes

The verb make does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
individuals unexcited
do
Fix the infinitive
to do

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
specific is usually the phone.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Saudi Arabian
neewes
Correct your spelling
news

If you don’t want neewes to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

reported that the average
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

individuals spend during the day is more than 5 hours, so
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

scroll
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Instegram
Correct your spelling
Instagram

If you don’t want Instegram to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

or Tiktok without being aware of the
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb spent. Consider changing it.

show examples
. As there are many causes, the results impacted the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed the twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

show examples
societies. The populations
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
worldwide
considered
Wrong verb form
consider

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb considered. Consider changing it.

show examples
their
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as plain because all
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
they do is
working
Wrong verb form
work

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb working. Consider changing it.

show examples
,
sleeping
Wrong verb form
sleep

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb sleeping. Consider changing it.

show examples
and the
cyicle
Correct your spelling
cycle

If you don’t want cyicle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

continue
Correct subject-verb agreement
continues

It seems that the verb continue does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
before
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
years ago our
granparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents

If you don’t want granparents to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

have not
Verb problem
had

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

show examples
technology that
make
Verb problem
allowed

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
them
doing
Change the verb form
to do

Doing doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
diffrents
Correct your spelling
different

If you don’t want diffrents to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

activities that
makes
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoyed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb enjoy. Consider changing it.

show examples
,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
drawing, swimming and riding
horse
Fix the agreement mistake
horses

It seems that horse may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. If there are no facilities similar to the example the individual may have some psychological issues, preventing the
person
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from living properly. Numerous academic articles pointed
that
Change preposition
out that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
having an outlet
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents

It seems that the verb prevent does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
serious problems
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
depression. In
cconclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion

If you don’t want cconclusion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, It's common nowadays that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
not
consider
Fix the infinitive
to consider

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
a hobby to do for the reason of having no
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and technology
immensement
Correct your spelling
commencement

If you don’t want immensement to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that
reflect
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects

It seems that the verb reflect does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
them mentally and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes

It seems that the verb make does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
them suffer.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well, but to improve task achievement, ensure you provide more examples or evidence to support your points. Ensure each point is clearly developed.
coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay better to enhance coherence and cohesion. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that your ideas flow logically. Additionally, try to avoid repetitive statements to keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and discussed the main causes and effects related to the decline in hobbies, showing a good understanding of the topic.
suitable writing tone
You've managed to maintain a suitable tone and clear language throughout the essay, making your argument easy to follow.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
What to do next:
Look at other essays: