IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this develomeng bring more advantages or disadvantages.

#home #hands #machines #develomeng
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Several jobs that used to be done by
humans
 are nowadays being worked by
machines
. In my opinion,
this
 has brought more advantages than drawbacks. Changing to
machines
 can lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 effectiveness of our job. It is happening because
robots
 usually do something shorter than
humans
 and it will cut
time
 and
humans
 can do other jobs at the same
time
.
For instance
, nowadays in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big companies, employees often input data helped by artificial intelligence automatically. At the same
time
, employees can discuss with other colleagues or even
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
 with the clients. It is a piece of evidence that
machines
 can raise the productivity of workers.
In addition
, in several cases,
robots
 show better performance than
humans
. They analyze in more detail with the minimum wrongness.
People
 are often incorrect in spelling or calculating numerous data.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 artificial intelligence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 concluded with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high performance so they can avoid these cases.
However
, there are several disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing
machines
.
Firstly
,
people
 will need to buy more equipment and it leads to
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 a lot of money.
For example
, many families now buy washing
machines
 in order to minimize
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 spent
to wash
Change the verb form
washing
show examples
 manually. These kinds of
machines
 are commonly expensive.
Thus
,
people
 who want to purchase have to save their wages
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
several months beforehand.
Secondly
, because of relying on washing
machines
,
people
 become shorter in terms of exercise. When we do laundry without
machines
, it will require more physical effort to
be done
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 that task and it
is
Verb problem
apply
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directly
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to exercise.
However
,
people
 can do various sports in other ways, without being dependent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 physical exercises
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home. In conclusion, I believe that changing to
robots
 will bring more advantages outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Machines
 can increase the productivity of a person and avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wrongness.
However
, it requires more money to buy
robots
 and it often leads to minimum exercise.
Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on

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introduction conclusion present
Introduction needs to clearly outline the points that will be discussed in the essay.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
logical structure
Use more linking words/phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. Examples include 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' 'In this case,' etc.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples to support each main point.
complete response
You have provided a balanced viewpoint by addressing both advantages and disadvantages.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your argument well.
logical structure
You have offered a logical sequence of ideas in your discussion.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • labor-saving devices
  • efficiency
  • consistency
  • precision
  • physical burden
  • productivity
  • reliability
  • utility bills
  • energy consumption
  • electronic waste
  • environmental challenges
  • self-sufficiency
  • dependency on technology
  • skillset
What to do next:
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