IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

A person worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashion values such as honor, kindness and trust no longer seem important. To what extent you agree or disagree

#person #status #possessions #fashion #values #honor #kindness #trust
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there is no doubt that
people
beeing
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being
 judgemental in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern life,but in the past
were
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where
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every thing
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everything
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has
Wrong verb form
had
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his
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 value,there are some reasons
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
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 in
this
proplem
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problem
.
in
Change preposition
On
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 my side,I
a gree
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agree
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 that our current era seems to have a gap, owing to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media,which is the main reason that played a major change
of
Change preposition
in
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 attitudes
towads
Correct your spelling
toward
 each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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.
otherwise
Capitalize word
Otherwise
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 in the past
eara
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era
 when
people
 had a little opennes and deep inderstandig of life and self worth.
Morever
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Moreover
, there is some
disadvantge
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disadvantage
disadvantages
 in both
eares
Correct your spelling
areas
such
 as the person in the past might have
a
Add a missing verb
had a
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social status
defnitions
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definitions
definition
 of his own which is not clear unlike the modern social
staute
Correct your spelling
status
, which is fame and
wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
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,beauty.
however
,social status
rely
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relies
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 on the person
ethir
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they
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 in the past or in the present. despite the fact that social media and the
disappering
Correct your spelling
disappearing
 of old fashion values,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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history
some times
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sometimes
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dose
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does
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 not
repit
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repeat
 his self in
a
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 way or another.
to sum up
, history change and
people
also
 change their
vaules
Correct your spelling
values
 and
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
,and there is no wrong with that until we become judgemental.
Submitted by thoraya0506 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a number of spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'beeing', 'proplem', 'a gree', 'towads', 'eares', 'staute', and 'inderstandig'. These errors often obscure the meaning and need to be corrected for clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main point and development. The essay currently lacks a coherent progression of ideas and jumps between different points without clear transitions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more defined. The introduction should clearly state the main argument or perspective on the topic, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points discussed and restate the writer's stance.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples to support the arguments made. Including relevant and specific examples can illustrate points more powerfully and make the argument more convincing.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay should be clearer and more comprehensive. Currently, the main points are somewhat vague and underdeveloped. Elaborate more on each point to give a thorough and clear explanation.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the issue of judgment based on social status and material possessions versus old-fashioned values such as honor, kindness, and trust.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Materialism
  • Social status
  • Old fashioned values
  • Consumer culture
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Genuine relationships
  • Societal norms
  • Material success
  • Moral integrity
  • Inner values
  • Upholding virtues
  • Material possessions
  • Inculcate
  • Evolved values
  • Ethical principles
  • Monetary wealth
  • Public acclaim
  • Personal virtue
  • Contrast and balance
  • Simplification of values
What to do next:
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