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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #information #process #drinks #summarise #report #features #comparisons
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This
 diagram illustrates
the carbonated drinks process
Change to a genitive case
the process of the carbonated drink
show examples
. The manufacturing process
obtaines
Correct your spelling
obtained
obtains
 five stages of making carbonated
water
.
Overall
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can be seen that, the making of carbonated
water
is starting
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 from
cleaning
Correct article usage
the cleaning
show examples
 step and
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
show examples
stap
Correct your spelling
stage
. Looking at the diagram in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,
to begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 raw
water
 is filtering through
water
Add an article
a water
the water
show examples
 softener.
This
water
 softener contains chemicals for
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 cleaning. After that, filtered
water
 is
pumping
Wrong verb form
pumped
show examples
 to electric heaters and
deliver
Wrong verb form
delivered
show examples
 to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
stage
. The second
stage
 is heating evaporation and carbonation which is cooling the heating
water
 through
cooling
Add an article
the cooling
a cooling
show examples
 pipe and mixing
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
show examples
 carbon
dioxode
Correct your spelling
dioxide
.
Furthermore
, carbonated
water
 is
mixing
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
 repeatedly in the tank with more colouring materials, syrup and
falvour
Correct your spelling
flavour
. The fourth
stage
 is filtering and filling the carbonated
water
 in
bottels
Correct your spelling
bottles
 and cons. The final
stage
 in
this
 process is when packaging and
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
 carbonated
water
 products to
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
. So, customers can be
drinked
Correct your spelling
drunk
show examples
 after getting a good cooling.
Submitted by rajaa.albriki on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, stage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbonated drinks
  • water cleaning
  • heating evaporation
  • carbonation
  • mixing tank
  • filtering
  • filling
  • packaging
  • raw water
  • filtration
  • softening
  • chemical treatment
  • heating
  • evaporated
  • carbon dioxide
  • coloring
  • sweeteners
  • flavorings
  • final beverage
  • impurities
  • bottles and cans
  • distributed
  • supermarkets
  • stores
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