some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Some people argue that having
senior
Correct article usage
a senior
show examples
managment
Correct your spelling
management
position
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
top-notch thing with better remuneration packages compared to other peers in the company. I agree with
this
noble idea
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since that brings financial
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
and many more opportunities. One of the significant
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
and why I am in favour of
this
idea is getting higher salary packages and facilities. To be more precise, senior
managment
Correct your spelling
management
employees
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
to higher pay and some facilities
such
as fuel subsidies , vehicle allowance and health insurance which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
brought more favourable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human lives. Everyone doing
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
full fill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
show examples
their need when
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
higher
salries
Correct your spelling
salaries
in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher
postion
Correct your spelling
position
job
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
leads the quality of life not only for individual but
also
for their family and
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
.
For example
,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
DIMO company which is a famous company in
sri
Change the capitalization
Sri
show examples
lanka ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
rental cars , health insurance for family and
accomodation faclilities
Correct your spelling
accommodation facilities
for their employees.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, becoming
senior
Correct article usage
a senior
show examples
position
is likely to give some recognition
among
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. When a person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
managerial
position
they must have workers under their control
due to
that workers
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
respect for manager where they
worked
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
.
Moreover
, in
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
people give more respect and can get some assistance from the community easily.
For instance
, my brother is the senior manager at
bank
Add an article
the bank
a bank
show examples
so he
frequently
Add a missing verb
is frequently
show examples
invited by clubs and schools as a chief guest which is
valurnarable
Correct word choice
a valuable
show examples
thing
amoung
Correct your spelling
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
being senior
mangerial
Correct your spelling
managerial
position
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some drawbacks ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
which
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
positions
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
brought huge
adavantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
like higher salaries and opportunities than the other co-workers.
Submitted by jivenica1998 on

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grammar
Your essay offers a clear stance on the topic and provides supporting arguments. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Pay attention to pluralization and verb-tense consistency. Additionally, avoid redundant phrases.
structure
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea that directly supports your thesis. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and make sure your examples are explicitly linked to the point you're making.
introduction/conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing your viewpoint.
example
You provided relevant real-life examples to support your points, making your argument more compelling.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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