some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
Some people argue that having
senior
Correct article usage
a senior
managment
Correct your spelling
management
position
is the
top-notch thing with better remuneration packages compared to other peers in the company. I agree with Correct article usage
a
this
noble idea ,
since that brings financial Remove the comma
apply
benifits
and many more opportunities.
One of the significant Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
and why I am in favour of Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
this
idea is getting higher salary packages and facilities. To be more precise, senior managment
employees Correct your spelling
management
likely
to higher pay and some facilities Add a missing verb
are likely
such
as fuel subsidies , vehicle allowance and health insurance which has
brought more favourable for Change the verb form
have
the
human lives. Everyone doing Correct article usage
apply
job
Correct article usage
a job
due
to Change preposition
apply
full fill
their need when Correct your spelling
fulfil
get
higher Change the verb form
getting
salries
in Correct your spelling
salaries
the
higher Correct article usage
a
postion
job Correct your spelling
position
that
leads the quality of life not only for individual but Correct pronoun usage
which
also
for their family and community
. Fix the agreement mistake
communities
For example
, In
DIMO company which is a famous company in Change preposition
apply
sri
lanka , Change the capitalization
Sri
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
provide
rental cars , health insurance for family and Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
accomodation faclilities
for their employees.
Correct your spelling
accommodation facilities
Furthurmore
, becoming Correct your spelling
Furthermore
senior
Correct article usage
a senior
position
is likely to give some recognition among
Change preposition
to
the
society. When a person Correct article usage
apply
have
Change the verb form
has
the
managerial Correct article usage
a
position
they must have workers under their control due to
that workers give
respect for manager where they Verb problem
apply
worked
. Wrong verb form
work
Moreover
, in society
people give more respect and can get some assistance from the community easily. Add a comma
society,
For instance
, my brother is the senior manager at bank
so he Add an article
the bank
a bank
frequently
invited by clubs and schools as a chief guest which is Add a missing verb
is frequently
valurnarable
thing Correct word choice
a valuable
amoung
Correct your spelling
in
the
society.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
eventhough
being senior Correct your spelling
even though
mangerial
Correct your spelling
managerial
position
have
some drawbacks , Correct subject-verb agreement
has
i
Change the capitalization
I
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
which
positions Correct pronoun usage
these
has
brought huge Change the verb form
have
adavantages
like higher salaries and opportunities than the other co-workers.Correct your spelling
advantages
Submitted by jivenica1998 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Your essay offers a clear stance on the topic and provides supporting arguments. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Pay attention to pluralization and verb-tense consistency. Additionally, avoid redundant phrases.
structure
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea that directly supports your thesis. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and make sure your examples are explicitly linked to the point you're making.
introduction/conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing your viewpoint.
example
You provided relevant real-life examples to support your points, making your argument more compelling.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!